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C. Augusto Valdés

Joined July 2009 and calls The Mouth of Doom home.

61 stories, 11 challenges, 96 comments, and 0 friends

Regarding poetry ; I don’t read it or like it, that’s why I write it, in order to unwrite it.

Stories

  1. Dead Rodians tell no tales (Part 2)

    We were paid good credits to silence this Tetsu scum called Greedo, we were going to give some of it to a Diollan, but Thuku here had a better idea. We Rodians do not like to share our bounties. Docking Bay Ninety-four there it was, the Corellian Corve...

  2. Dead Rodians tell no tales (Part 1)

    Name’s Neesh, this here is Thuku, my associate. They called me that because as a youngling I wouldn’t stop wailing. Thuku and I were poor back in Rodia, lush and green place that idiot Coruscantis consider peaceful but I tell you, you don&...

  3. Citrullus Puericalzii

    LOCAL MAN CULTIVATES WONDER FRUIT Mr. Brian Greene from Collumbus, Illinois is the winner of this year’s Farm Fair. Amidst the giant watermelons and the mammoth pumpkins a wonderful new fruit caught the attention of the judges, a new variety of w...

  4. I think I'm alone now

    Once upon a time there wasn’t a day when I didn’t wake up sore. Sometimes he would keep me up all night, just hitting me until his coffee couldn’t keep him awake anymore. That was many years ago. His wife brought me here after he died...

  5. SEX!!!

    He walked down the street to meet his brother, whom he hadn’t seen for a really long time. They parted ways back in the old country and now they finally got reunited. He was inside already waiting for him, all clean up, all hip and dandy, with th...

  6. Beseech

    Her eyes were the brightest, two unknown moons in a red planet. As I walked away from her I could listen to her crystalline voice, shattering like a glass menagerie. She never wanted to sing and I knew she could do it, but now, at the farewell hour, it...

  7. Monster from Another Dimension.

    It arrived one day, able to teleport, to go back and forward in time, able to create matter from out of thin air. Although it has a childish voice it’s something out of anyone’s understanding, disconnected shapes swirling and flickering. So...

  8. ...people ask me if I know...

    Everyone thinks she is beautiful, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect smile; sweet without being cloying, the perfect voice; as if she scripted her own words, even when she cursed (and after a couple of margaritas she would outcurse any of you) every wor...

  9. The Bride

    It’s laying before me, polished, brand new. It even smells like a new car but then again it’s the formaldehyde. You can’t tell she’s artificial, I kept myself from using organic materials as they would eventually rot. I discover...

  10. Centzon Totochtin

    “Como cien conejos” All the old guys roared with laughter. “Ánene, chúpele más, llega hasta los cuatrocientos” Guess I shouldn’t have taken that turn and gone so far away from the tourist route. My friend Emilio has be...

  11. Hermit

    Know she is coming. Saw her the first time in the park, can’t use mere words to describe how perfect she was. Manned up and asked her out. Ridiculously easy. Thought the guys had set me up with an escort but she wasn’t that kind. Bet no one...

  12. Holocaust (Mature)

  13. Children of Oz

    “Will I ever see you again?” “You know you are coming with me, I am going to take you home” “Don’t lie, please. I am old enough to know the difference” I gazed upon her eyes, so blue and piercing, like they cou...

  14. Heretics of Oz

    “He has taken the castle” “And that’s exactly what we planned” The thin fingers of the old woman clutched an ancient tome, the pages damaged by humidity. Opening its pages released a soothing cinnamon scent. “This wa...

  15. Fire in the sky

    The world is going up in flames. What value could their lives have if they hold nothing as holy? Even their false idols they hold in deep contempt. Even their imaginary worlds lack of wise men to look up to. They live like animals, prey to their base i...

  16. Messiah of Oz

    I have to land somewhere. It is safe to assume they are not after me anymore, but they have my Father. Greedy manbeasts, will they ever be satisfied? It’s been hours of no visibility and my lips are bleeding, I don’t think I had ever felt t...

  17. The Oscar goes to...

    I wish I had the opportunity and/or the guts to stand in front of millions in a rented tux, Kiss the Hollywood starlet and simply say: “I deserve this”

  18. God Emperor of Oz

    I was born today to serve the Emperor. They gave me my memories and instructions, when I walk the palace it’s like a window appeared in my head and I knew where everything is. It’s also of no surprise to me the size of his body. This palace...

  19. What no one told you about Extreme Metal and Art Films

    Extreme Metal does not exist. It’s all a joke, you see? all those long-haired kids and old folks furiously clutching their lasts scraps of youth are pulling a collective prank on you. Only one Black Metal song has ever been recorded, it’s r...

  20. Here is the house

    I didn’t know we had an attic. I assumed the second floor led directly to the roof, but you know how it is here in the suburbs, I visited my friend Kaycee and her house and mine were built by the same hands, her parents set up a TV room in their ...

  21. Sorry for breathing

    Found out what you did, you are really sloppy at keeping tabs on your own lies. I know, I learned from the best. Next time try keeping a diary, it helps you to memorize the timeline. It helps you keep track of who did who, you tend to implicate other p...

  22. Curriculum Mortem

    “You have what it takes, huh?” “Look at my resumé, I bet you will be impressed” “Ok, you have done some serious henchman work, The Vile Vulture, The Prankstah Gangstah… Double Dare? I thought he only employed twins!...

  23. ...walked into a bar and...

    “Don’t worry, hon. I won’t squeeze you that hard” We laughed, even when we had heard that joke since what seems now as the beginning of time. I guess we should accept we’ll never make it to the wedding now, the blizzard st...

  24. Dream of Tantalus

    And then I woke up. She stayed at my place, we spoke all night and find we have the same sense of humor, She told me she needs time to break up her last relationship. And then I woke up. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out who was sleeping nex...

  25. With me... always (Mature)

  26. The Funeral of the Sardine

    They’re coming to take me away. I can’t really tell the difference between them except for her. Well, I think it is a “her”, she looks softer than every other of those lumbering awkward giants. I have the personal theory they fe...

  27. Dark Knight Reruns

    He is the masked Dark Revenger of Nighttime, I am the Symbol of Bright Hope, the glitter of light that tells the innocent she can take care of her own life. Or so it goes. He told me the last BrightBird went solo and became the masked adventurer known...

  28. 1986

    Yesterday I worked on his destruction. Today I love Great Leader. bang

  29. Leteroj de la estonteco (end)

    We talked less and less, sometimes only an hour a week compared to the four hours I would devote in the beginning and had to stop only to attend school and do enough homework to pass. My Esperanto improved very rapidly, they would teach me some words a...

  30. Leteroj de la estonteco (part 4)

    I could find it easily, but it turned out to be a proxy server somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, some independent island nation that financed itself with illegal servers. I frantically asked in several forums how I could unmask an IP behind a proxy, the...

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