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The Devil Tesla

Joined August 2009 and calls Junkyerd home.

16 stories, 2 challenges, 14 comments, and 0 friends

I believe that one should be conservative in what they do and liberal in what they expect from others. I utterly fail in one of those aspects.

I’m a young white male wasting time at a midwestern liberal arts college where I only go to the classes that have nothing to do with my major.

If there is anything else to remember it’s that videogames : me :: boyfriend : most people.

Ohh ohh, and thanks to all the people who have been so damn nice as I’ve posted these things. I’m here like one day and I got all these comments, thank you.

Stories

  1. Ghosts of Heterosexualities past (Mature)

  2. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO RECONSIDER YOUR POSITION (Mature)

  3. Primer in ten words

    Although the seams show there is room for vast complexities.

  4. TIME FOR SOME DICKPUNCH

    SO I WAS PLAYING THE GREAT GAME SPELUNKY AND SOME DUDE CAME UP TO ME AND SAID “YOU PLAYING SPELUNKY?” AND I SAID “YES.” FOR SOME REASON HE THEN BLURTED OUT “CAVE STORY IS BETTER” LIKE THAT WAS RELEVANT OR SOMETHING. ...

  5. A Layde Dost Find That Being Complementare Is Best

    It twas a cold winter’s morn that Jay met his layde be on the floor of Jay’s Kitchene. The layde twas engaged in the householde worke suiting the fairer sex. Jay told of the queste to yon mailbox where he made the discovere that the postman had...

  6. A Week in 2034

    May 13, 2034 - Composer of the soundtrack of the summer of 2014 dies. May 14, 2034 - The singer who sung the song I danced with you at the prom dies. - A tabloid star dies. I always kind of liked her, even though she was on that stupid show. - Some ra...

  7. The Best Kind Of Bug

    I’ve been listening to a really sad album a lot recently, but I’ve noticed that for some reason the little application I use to listen to mp3s stops the playlist before the last song. It plays track 9, a happy respite after the emotionally ...

  8. How To Configure Every Wireless Router

    Make sure that your router is plugged into the wall, and that an ethernet cable is attached from the router to a computer and another from the router to a modem. Open up either Firefox or Internet Explorer. Direct your web browser to either http://192....

  9. A Dismissal of Years of Art

    I Freaking Hate Poems. The only use for them is to space out the margins in The New Yorker.

  10. A Dog Lazy With Sadness, Like a Depressed Dog But Lazier

    It was 1846, and a woman met on the street a dog. It talked to her. It said, I have impregnated you with the most perfect man, and I when he is old enough I will tell him the secrets of the cosmos. In April of the next year that woman gave birth to a c...

  11. The One True Current, Blessed Be It

    In the year 1881, The Devil Tesla broke through the gates of hell to deliver upon us the invention known in English as alternating current (the correct, lucifarian name cannot be written in unicode, so it will have to go unmentioned). Foreseeing this e...

  12. You Really Want To Know How I Write?

    What I write is best read really late at night, so late the sun is coming up and anyone rational has finished everything hours ago. Imagine that you finished everything hours ago and are just now reading my crap. In fact, imagine that you what you fini...

  13. How To Read What I Write

    Just imagine that everything I say is whispered into your ear while you are making sweet gay love to a videogame character. Then your mom calls to ask how your classes are going and you pleasantly chat while Marcus Fenix lays on his belly sticking his ...

  14. A Very Personal Gift

    Paul: Now, I know I wasn’t supposed to get you anything, but I saw this and thought of you. John: Oh, um, thanks. Paul: Open it! Open it! John: A book…The Path Of The Green Man? Gay… Wicca? But I’m not… Paul: Look, I know that it’s been...

  15. Shnequa DeWillams in: Walking Home From 7/11

    Shnequa DeWillams paused with her grocery bags in hand to watch a very curious event happening at the bus stop. Apparently Superman had come to Detroit, for no other reason to pick up this lady who screamed for him. It was more amusing than anything re...

  16. Lois Lane in: 8 Miles of Trouble

    One of the lesser known facts about Lois Lane is that she was a big fan of the sitcom Home Improvement. She took a trip to find a suburb of Detroit called Royal Oak. Unfortunately, the bus guide she grabbed had a typo and she ended up getting on the wr...

The Devil Tesla's Followers (5)

  • Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)
  • StudMuffin (LoA)
  • mama murph (LoA)
  • OneMoreDay(LoA)
  • Sam Ervin