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Edcrab

Joined October 2009 and calls Psi Academia home.

17 stories, 0 challenges, 49 comments, and 9 friends

Copy-editor who sometimes tries to pass himself off as an actual writer. Fan of genre fiction and eternally mocked for it at the workshops…

Stories

  1. Shackleton's Botch

    Charlie fell on his ass, making a sad little splatch sound as he spattered his audience with mud. He found this hilarious. One of his victims barked in approval. The other, the one wearing clothes and standing upright, was less amused. “Charlie, what...

  2. 17-word sequel

    “Now that’s very interesting, Mr. Rasputin. The aliens said they needed to talk to me about you.”

  3. Signed, Dad (Mature)

  4. Big Sis (Mature)

  5. Persuasive Devil

    “See,” said Satan, “God’s an asshole.”

  6. Creative Differences

    Hayder had a wispy little beard, bags under his eyes and a sickly complexion. He was only thirty-one, even though he looked like he’d seen the world twice over and written whole novels complaining about it. The toll of too many drinks and cigarettes ...

  7. Father, Father (Mature)

  8. Tradion the Brave's Trusty Aide

    God help me. Not that god exists in this setting because the writer has some sort of non-denominational generic pantheon going on… you know what I mean. I just want more lines to speak. Is that so much? Most likely I’ll fall in the mud again- the l...

  9. To The Editor

    Following the letters from Messrs Lyle and Trisin, I feel obliged to defend Mrs. Khaster’s production of Guardian Front. While it certainly featured anachronisms and few would deny that Iowa Moore’s cameo as Stephen Mogahn was a frankly baffling ca...

  10. Preaching to the Masses

    It was fascinating. She could write an article and people would be offended. Not at her, not by her, but at whatever she’d selected as the target of her ire. Stella didn’t really care when newscasters swore on air, or when a new videogame h...

  11. Ending the Beginning

    “You think you can just quit? Do one job for our group and call it a day? It doesn’t work like that, mate.” Cerrekk’s eyes were gummed shut with blood. He knew he was being held upright by some ‘roided up freak of nature with a large gun, but...

  12. Dino Envy (Mature)

  13. Hail $474n

    Its coat was so slick and glossy that Patrick could see his face in it. Not that anyone else would want to- he was gaunt and mad-eyed and licking his lips in gleeful anticipation of the savagery that was to come. He drew back the knife… …and jabbed...

  14. After a few more Hours

    Still muttering about unannounced telekinesis, Voln stepped over the thug in the water, leaving him to gurgle a trail of agonised bubbles into the muddy puddle. He approached the leading man, who was rubbing at a fresh cut on his forehead and wearing a...

  15. After Hours

    He grabbed the arm and twisted. The man yelped, and Voln pulled him down into the fetid water, leaving him crumpled and soaking at the cyborg’s feet. The last man’s knife traced an uncertain path through the air. Eventually he decided that the blad...

  16. Preparing in the Staff Room

    “Don’t be that guy.” Cruest’s confident, happy, ever-so-slightly smug expression began to sag. “What do you mean?” “Your glass. Don’t do that during your toast. Don’t be that guy.” The boy stopped fiddling with his collar and looked...

  17. Staff Room

    “If you ask me,” said Voln, “you could try teaching them with a sim. Kids love educational simulations. Mostly ‘cos of the skive factor.” “I didn’t ask,” Cerrekk said pointedly, crumpling up his lesson plan. “You’re a janitor.

Edcrab's Friends (9)

  • lastsyllable
  • Mostly Harmless
  • Krulltar
  • JACripe
  • DoItForScience
  • Villain
  • Centipede Damascus
  • THX 0477
  • Music-Hearted

Edcrab's Followers (11)

  • lastsyllable
  • Krulltar
  • JACripe
  • Villain
  • Abstract
  • Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)
  • BEAST!
  • Sam Ervin
  • vivixenne
  • A Dabble of Thelonious
  • cthulhuburger