Joined August 2009.

12 stories, 2 challenges, 25 comments, and 1 friend

I like music. And food, especially chocolate and cheese. And girls. Yup.


  1. The Taming of The Shr-it

    I met Mr. Lahey today. Sort of. Familiar with Trailer Park Boys? No? Wikipedia should help. Or, if you’re brave, Youtube. Our story begins when the dastardly Mr. Lahey, the Trailer Park Supervisor and boozehound, and Randy, his boyfriend, made an...

  2. The Strip of Delight

    A breakfast of pure immeasurable bliss, An eggy delight, a sweet sizzling kiss, it’s laid out before me, my tired eyes still glazed, With this fair meal my spirits doth be raised! but ah, I can hear it, smell it and more the King of All Breakfast...

  3. The Man From The Other Poem But In The Past

    In Tennessee there was Tiny Lil’ Fred and sometimes he wished he were dead. but one day he grew tall, and on top of it all, he grew much more than tall, it is said…

  4. The Man From Tennessee

    There once was a man from TenneSSEE!! He had an enormous Tennee-WEE! “Two feet and an inch!”, he’d boast, in a pinch, but it may have been as long as Tenne-THREE!

  5. "DTAH! DTAH! DTAH!"

    “DTAH! DTAH! DTAH!” The crowd roared. Everything was going splendidly. Damon could hardly believe his ears. “DTAH! DTAH! DTAH!” The foundations of the building shook. The ground rumbled with stamping feet. In less than five minu...

  6. A Lover's Lament

    I have fallen, my love. Fallen down into a pit of despair. I feel split down the middle, cleaved in two, rent into… bah, do you see my torment? I have been reduced to pathetic, redundant synonymizing. A pox on my emotions! I cast them into oblivi...

  7. The Octopus Party (Mature)

  8. A Day in the Life of Messiah Marcolin

    After coming out of an insane motorcycle backflip, Messiah Marcolin, lead singer of the doom metal band Candlemass, takes a moment to ponder. “Shall I take a walk?” he says. Ripping two goblins clean in half with one arm, he decides a walk ...

  9. To My One True Love

    I’ll just open the damn thing and find out once and for all, Zach thought, taking a long drag from his cigarette, and then ramming it into the ashtray. If it’s John, he’s got something comin’, lemme tell you… The letter he...

  10. C'est presque incroyable!

    I am aware he is a true master, un artiste véritable, un compositeur magnifique! He has done more for music than any other man in Paris. Mais, Mon dieu… he sure can be a challenge. Dan mi-août I was to be playing the Deux Arabesque in a concert...

  11. The Legendarye Queste To Gette Up And Go To The Mysticale Fridge

    Gather ’rounde, fellow goodly knightes and faire maerrymakers! For thise saucy troubador has a talle tale to singe to thou, a tale as olde as ye merry olde taverne we now maerrymake withine! It begins as any goode tale doth, with a hearte as nobl...

  12. Girl Noses

    I like this girl’s nose. It’s kinda-sorta bulbous at the end. Starts poking up at the middle of the bridge, and practically curves upward at the tip. It’s just a little bit too big. But it works, damnit. It seems to point at the place...

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