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Minion

Joined June 2011 and calls http://callmeminion.tumblr.com home.

46 stories, 7 challenges, 18 comments, and 18 friends

Stories

  1. Rule 1: Always carry an umbrella and a rubber duck.

    Umbrellas perform a variety of functions: -They protect you from the rain -They make an excellent walking stick -They can double as a blunt force object -They are the ideal instrument for extracting souls Rubber ducks also perform a variety of func...

  2. How to Steal Hearts and Get Away with It

    I hope you’re not expecting for some guide to love. Cause this is not that. Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s get started. Step 1: Cut their chest open. Step 2: Don’t follow step 1. Step 3: You’re not actually going to...

  3. Reading the Fine Print

    At 5:37PM on the last day of the universe, Space was having a conversation with Time about pizza. All they did these days was talk; they had delegated most of the work to the Three Dimensions and the Past, Present and Future. They sat in two stools on ...

  4. The Bus Stop

    I once heard on the radio, on my drive home, about this bus stop in Düsseldorf, Germany that goes nowhere. It’s for Alzheimer or Dementia patients who get confused and want to go home. Instead of having them wander off or locking them up, they insta...

  5. Nosebleeds

    The thing about Dot’s (Real name Elisabeth.) (With an “s,” not a “z.”), (and Dot stemming from the fact that her father thought that “Button” was too childish) (Ha.) – The thing about Dot’s (She really ...

  6. Food.

    “Charizard! You look ah-mazing,” Charlotte’s best friend Julie exclaimed when Charlotte entered English class. Fuck she wanted – For a brief moment, Charlotte beamed. Then her heart dropped as Julie went in for the hug. “Fat-ass,” Julie wh...

  7. Jessica

    “Fuck, Jessica, you just left him there? You could’ve at least eaten the food” “I know– I mean –" Jessica sighed. She sat on her bed, hugging her knees, having spent an hour on the train wearing the wrinkled clothes of yesterday. She t...

  8. Waking Up - Charlotte

    Waking up after not having eaten in days was Charlotte’s favorite part of the day. She had set her first alarm for 6:13AM, 7 minutes before she had to wake up for school, so that she could fully enjoy the moment. It was all in the fingers. She sp...

  9. Waking Up - Kory.

    Kory woke up next to the woman of his dreams. He looked over at the clock on his bedside table, careful not to disturb the arm draped across his chest. 6:00AM. He rotated slowly to face her, gingerly lifting her wrist. God she’s beautiful. Feel...

  10. Perfect

    “Worst day of my life?” I said, swirling the bottle of unknown alcohol absentmindedly. “Everyday. Everyday the demon inside me says that if I just WANT it enough, I could eat nothing today. Tells me how wonderfully accomplished I’d feel at the ...

  11. The Last Witch

    “Sophie, Mark, would you like to hear a story?” Sophie was engrossed in her phone, smiling to herself. Mark was playing a video game, headset on, speaking and smashing buttons furiously. She sighed. “If no one wants to hear,” sh...

  12. Therapy Session #79

    “There had to be a gap, you see.” “Between what?” she asked, looking up from her notepad and staring me in the eye. “Between life and death!” I said. “Not limbo; I’m not talking about a waiting room, a lounge where you’re stuck, ...

  13. Train Waiting

    It all started at the subway station. First Vera stood there, her feet just touching the yellow line. She extended her right leg and hung her foot over the edge, as if testing the waters.Her heart began to race a little; she could feel the blood pumpi...

  14. A birthday to forget (part 5)

    The silence made Margaret nervous. Away from the music and people, the silence between them was even more obvious. Staring down at her dress, she traced the lines of thread up and down. She didn’t want to be the first to say something, for she feared...

  15. A birthday to forget (part 4)

    “I thought you didn’t like birthday parties.” James started. “Rinly, you know I don’t like you sneaking up on me like that.” Rinly coughed. “Sorry.” She was so fragile. The short, black dress accentuated her thin, pale calves and her ti...

  16. A birthday to forget (part 3)

    “Margaret?” Margaret froze. He never called her by her full name. What did she do wrong? She always felt this around him. She was walking delicately on broken glass; any wrong move, wrong word, and she was out. It was exhausting, but worth it. He w...

  17. A birthday to forget (part 2)

    James never really understood the big hoopla about birthday parties. But then again, the last time he had one was that day, so perhaps it was understandable. “James?” a familiar voice said behind him. James turned to face the father of Marg...

  18. A birthday to forget (part 1)

    Margaret was in no mood for a birthday party. Standing outside the grand ballroom, she could hear the chatter and the booming music. “Happy Birthday, Maggie.” Jumping a little in surprise, Margaret turned to face the owner of the voice Tall...

  19. Both sides of the mirror

    I came back. I ran away I know the answer now I know the question now I heard I saw it. My heart is My head is racing. Am I dreaming Am I awake It all feels It all seems so real. I’m terrified.

  20. The thoughts you think before bed. (part 2)

    Then your thoughts turn inexplicably to the thought of infinity. That if you were to take a piece of paper, draw a camel that takes up half the page, and another that takes up half the space that remains, and repeated, you would end up with an infinite...

  21. The thoughts you think before bed. (part 1)

    Tonight, you begin by thinking about what would happen if you were diagnosed with terminal cancer, a recurring scenario in your thoughts lately. You imagine telling your best friends, wondering if they would cry, or be speechless or incredulous. You im...

  22. In the Beginning.

    In the beginning, there was silence. The silence was like an itch – no a tickle, a tingle – that was under her skin, all inside of her, that she couldn’t even begin to scratch. It made her sick to her stomach, the silence. It didn’t take her lo...

  23. The birth of the Piper Miles Consulting Service.

    From an early age, Piper Miles knew that money was important. Perhaps it stemmed from the fact that her parents were investment bankers. Perhaps it was because her brother gave her a nickel every time she would go to the toilet when she was being potty...

  24. Our Lady Bonbons (iii): mirrors

    Our Lady Bonbons, You know what’s a bit odd, Our Lady Bonbons? Mirrors. We spend so much time preening ourselves in front of them, making ourselves “look better.” If I didn’t know any better, I would think that mirror slowly consume our souls....

  25. The Beginning of the Story – Decisions.

    How one begins a story is very important. Better yet, with whom one begins a story is very important. This meant that Jasper and James had a very important decision to make. “Well who do you suggest that we start with, Jasper?” “Rae. ...

  26. Doggy-ear

    “Well, what do you want to talk about?” Thomas said once entering the library. It was completely empty; even the librarian didn’t bother to show up. He paused again at the door and listened to the slide click. “Do you have a name?” he contin...

  27. Angel

    “Are you Thomas Avery Sade?” “Yes,” he replied, “You’re an angel?” “Yes.” “Is there something wrong, Tom?” Thomas’ teacher interrupted. “No,” Thomas replied. “Could you come outside of the classroom, please?” the ang...

  28. Thomas

    “Thomas Avery Sade.” When Thomas (occasionally Thom, never Tom) heard his name being called, he immediately assumed that the voice belonged to his teacher. But when he looked up from his lined, college ruled, notebook paper filled with mindless doo...

  29. Dead?

    When Helen opened her eyes for the second time that day (or at least felt like one day; her sense of time was a little, well odd), she was not lying on the floor. Instead, she was comfortably located on one of the hospital beds. “Finally awake?” a ...

  30. part v

    Rinly wriggled, trying to break free, but he was stronger than he looked. “Someone else took it,” he continued. Rinly didn’t bother listening; she knew how to get away. “HELP! HELP!” she screamed. Everyone in the station ...

Minion's Friends (18)

  • softsyllables
  • Sir Bic
  • Robert Quick
  • Abstract
  • J. Rein B.
  • Jessica Cahill
  • thebetweenspace
  • Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))
  • Sanglorian
  • August Rode
  • THX 0477
  • Krulltar
  • Music-Hearted
  • BARomero
  • ElshaHawk (LoA)
  • Garsecg
  • pyrrhicv
  • punpun

Minion's Followers (7)

  • Robert Quick
  • Sir Bic
  • smdasilva {LoA}
  • Krulltar
  • ElshaHawk (LoA)
  • punpun
  • nuclearsubmarine