Avatar

nesdil

Joined May 2009.

46 stories, 0 challenges, 39 comments, and 2 friends

I am a ficlets survivor, a ficleteer, or what-have-you and whatever you want to call it. I’m a senior in high school, and I’ve been through some rough times in life, but I’ve been writing poetry for as long as I can remember. Its my coping mechanism. I hope you enjoy my work. Comments and constructive criticism are always appreciated.

Stories

  1. A Finally Still Heart

    You decided to mix your medicine with some of your favorite Popov blue and now the ambulance is in the driveway here, again, for you. Mom shut my in my bedroom while they strapped you down. You were yelling things I shouldn’t have heard, and she ...

  2. He Still Loves Me (Mature)

  3. Simulation

    I love the feeling of the bass in my chest, simulating a heartbeat when mine is absent due to a lack of emotion, or a lack of yours. I love the feeling of running until I can’t anymore, knowing I can push myself, reach new limits. I love know...

  4. Love's Expiration Date

    So you say you love him and he says he loves you too, but his love has an expiration date- he just hasn’t told you. Trust me, honey, I would know, he did the same to me, and a while ago, I was you; I refused to see. You’re just his favori...

  5. Exhibit A

    It was getting hard to see you way up on that pedestal where you placed me, so I’m glad that you finally realized just how human I can be. I tried to convince you I was ordinary but you refused to hear me, and now you’re shocked cuz you f...

  6. My Whole World

    I know I need to get over you, and trust me, I wish I could. But I hadn’t planned to fall so hard, harder than I ever thought I would. And it tears me up just knowing that you never think of me cuz you just never saw how amazing we could be. And...

  7. My Core (Fruit Poem)

    I lie here expecting, terrified, speckled with doubt, scratched with fear and anxious anticipation. Without hesitation, you tear right through me to reach the part you crave, I lie here and let you find each crevice and opportunity. The blood in my ve...

  8. Pull Tight

    crimson sighs white lies words pour from your lips like the acid that burns your tongue. green lights black nights tears tumble down the arcs of your cheeks as my heart tumbles in its cage of bones. white flags black bags your words form endless senten...

  9. Because Of You

    If only time were motionless, then maybe you and me could love each other endlessly just like it used to be; Maybe if I were a little less scared of the harm that I could do not only to myself, but also unto you. But you’ve got me thinking it wou...

  10. See The Unseen

    Looking at you is like the sun looking at him is like nightfall. Holding you is the summer holding him is the cold. Laughing with you is like the air laughing with him is like water. Looking into your eyes is the dawn looking into his eyes is dusk. Bei...

  11. Realize

    every time I look at you I cant help but see the sparkles that adorn your eyes perfectly. and every time I hold you I cant help but feel so at peace. every time I’m away from you I don’t realize how much I miss you until you’re back a...

  12. Your Fallen Disguise

    The way you make me feel isn’t like fireworks in the sky Christmas in July or blissfully alive. The way you make me feel is like the calm before the storm snow when the weather is warm or a cloud beginning to form. And I know this may seem a lit...

  13. One, Two, Three

    One, two, three singing the wrong melody. Four, five, six, jonesing for my caffeine fix. Seven, eight, nine, the endless row of straight red lines. Out of sync, control, order. Under cover, estimate, stand. Nine, eight, seven, situations with no leaven...

  14. The Backseat of Your Sub Compact (Mature)

  15. You Might Be the One

    It’s amazing how invisible you can make me feel; how insignificant and empty your presence makes me realize I am. You’re the only one I want to notice me, but half the time you don’t know I’m there. On the days you choose to see...

  16. I'm Wondering

    I’m wondering as I write this about the purpose of this poem. The people it is about will never read it. The people who need to will never hear it. I find myself more focused on the clean lines of this paper; on my writing being scratched into ex...

  17. My Disgrace

    I see your face, I search your face, contorted and twisted with my disgrace. Disloyal I may have been but tied to you I am not, and though you tried and tried again, my loving cannot be bought. And while I may have let you then, your touch still haun...

  18. A Shattered Place

    You took away my voice, you took away my sound. I can’t sing, there’s no song in my heart, and it used to play so loud. Circles around nothing, walls around who I used to be, sheltered and locked away is the happy and unburdened me. I can&...

  19. Nothing Less Than My Sanity

    Again I have that sinking feeling, because no matter what I do, none of it is good enough, for them, or her, or you. Disappointment from all sides, including from within, they all repeat their message over and over again. Maybe there’s somethin...

  20. More Than Anything

    Frustration can’t put into words no way to express how much that I hurt. Anger, agony weighing down on me throw, break, tear, yell, shout, and scream. Too much for tears, exploding from within; can’t stop regretting letting go of him. Seein...

  21. I Love You But I Left You

    I love you but I left you, so why don’t I feel at all? Why do I still wish it’s you on the other end of the telephone call? You won’t be calling just to ask about my day, or to speak those three words that I’m unsure I want to ...

  22. Mr. Blue Eyes

    Hey there Mr. Blue Eyes, you have something of mine but lets follow that old rule that you can keep what you can find. And please, do take care it has been hurt before but I trust you with it; I’m no longer unsure. You’ve never given a reas...

  23. Too Busy To Notice

    The girl sitting with me was too busy texting to notice the beautiful sunrise. The kid across the aisle was lost in his blaring music, the boy next to him asleep with his head against the window. A few seats ahead, a student scribbles out an answer to ...

  24. The Next Time That I Fall

    If music is supposed to express what we cannot put into words, then how can no song reflect my pain? If the one we love is meant to bring us up when we fall, how is it that nothing has been gained? If everything happens for a reason, then why am I her...

  25. You Always Leave Me Wanting More

    I don’t know why I still love you, after all you did to me; you changed me into someone that I never wanted to be. I was scared and timid, lying to everyone I knew, telling them that my depression wasn’t caused by you. But every time I see...

  26. The Arrogant Businessman

    He’s one of the cliché guy characters- the arrogant, businessman type; self-assured, ironed clothes, hair gelled into the perfect thirty-something-but-trying-to-look-younger style. He goes fly- fishing with his father on Sundays, brings his own...

  27. What Changed?

    You never used to tell so many lies; you always used to apologize. But now there is no honesty and not a single apology. What changed? You respected me and showed me how to turn my hopeless life around. You no longer listen, you no longer hear, and I&#...

  28. Relief To Be No More

    Another bad day, another “I’m fine”, and another forced smile; I’m waiting for someone or even something to make this life worthwhile. The minutes drag on, as do the breaths I take, as I float between constantly and never awake....

  29. Where Passion Dwells

    Where does passion dwell when it ceases to show? Where do the potential smiles hide when there is no joy left to know? Passion, smiles, laughter and butterflies; the things that disappear when a relationship starts to die. Growing more distant with eac...

  30. 600 Miles

    600 miles five empty finger spaces four somber eyes three weeks two hearts one soul

nesdil's Friends (2)

  • Sam Ervin
  • Moonlightgirl

nesdil's Followers (7)

  • Branwen Hernandez
  • XxMisfitMelXx
  • Moonlightgirl
  • Sam Ervin
  • Music-Hearted
  • iLive The Avant-Garde Way
  • Mr. Reeses