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Spageti

Joined June 2009 and calls Spageti.info home.

134 stories, 9 challenges, 102 comments, and 12 friends

Hail, good sir, or madame (I musn’t forget the superior sex! ;-] ). My name is Spageti. Good to make your acquaintance. I was born leagues away in a quaint place Christianed as Hamptonshire. My pappy was a writer of ye olde English fiction and me mum a proud housekeeper, the bless’d angel she was… I found it my responsibility to continue my family’s tradition of writin’ stories and housekeepin’, so I drunkenly stumbled onto this bit one night on my way back from Bubbles. Ever since, I’ve been writin’ my stories and making capturing massive adoration from plebians! I’d like to personally thank all me dear friends on this ledger via missive.

From a hoary old man to his captives!

~ Spageti

Stories

  1. And 1/3 A Cerberus Stopped (Mature)

  2. No. (Mature)

  3. The Silken Lilly: Forthright Forthcoming [sic]

    And muddied boots cleaned atop flabby’s noggin, with rum filled stomach, Capt. Forthright walks as confident as a mutineered Captain can after making his landing in Osaka via running aground. A fortnight prior, the entire bloody jolly crew aboard...

  4. The Silk Lilly: Clockwise and Forthright

    On a due East course for Osaka, a jolly and sanguine Capt. Forthright rests muddy boots atop First Mate Margarine Buttersfield’s hairless head. Taking tugs of rum for one, with the First Mater thirsty and souring, the Captain sees Margarine’...

  5. Harvey Lovehandles (An Illusory Prequel of Passions) (Mature)

  6. Nightline Hotspot

    Nightline hotspot, everyone got it in speed dialed. Two sure shots to the lips and down and down all it goes. Lounge light searching, blue and purple and red and clouds, all ever-changing. Changing: cocktail waitress, into slacks and sandals. Cover tan...

  7. Noontime Sun-high Staredown, Part 1

    With a lick and a spit, Sheriff Barnaby Jones exits his recently revoked patrol car. Snakeskin precision steps and cowhide waisted drawers leave their impression on the floorboards and blue velour seats. Crown Vic. Not the best car to steal, but 351 ai...

  8. Snow Ballin', Free Wheelin' (Curious Ramblings of Jack LeQuinn)

    Dust scored south, kneading endless city blocks. Central District, high-riser right, red brick redwood tower, orthogonality and facade. Bowling doubtless, in my head, out my rictus, in my cage, up my spine, and in my head, again. And, again, after non-...

  9. Ethel, the Frog (Mature)

  10. Star Trek: The Next Sweateration, Episode 3

    Wesley’s beer drenched sweater reeks with putrid vitality. He passed out hours ago, just now regaining consciousness. “What happened?” a dazed Wesley wonders aloud. “You were asleep, Wesley.” A voice projects from the dark...

  11. And So Batman Ate

    And so Batman ate such a hearty meal as to make all gods tremble beneath his pendulous manhood.

  12. Silencio

    Silence was too great an adversary to conquer. You couldn’t believe your ears. “You’re telling me Cindy Crawford ain’t the most talented American artist since Dolly Parton?” The silence seemed to stretch on to infinity plu...

  13. Duke of the Amulets

    Bristles burst through the woodwork as Bilbo Baggins opens his round front door. “Is it secret?! Is it safe?!” A deranged wizard once again finds himself trapped in a little men nightmare.

  14. The Green Skipper

    Billy O’Mally had had worts since before he could remember. He would do anything, ANYTHING to rid himself of the worts. An angel comes down for heaven, just moments, mind you, and tells precious Billy his salvation lies in a little mottled green ...

  15. Bob Barker Barred From The Bar (Mature)

  16. Dear Jesus

    Hey Jesus, it’s me, Margaret, again. Can you hear me now? (double reference: ladyparts book and verizon)

  17. A Quite Unexpected Find (Mature)

  18. The Fatekeeper (Mature)

  19. Star Trek: The Next Sweateration, Episode 2 (Mature)

  20. Star Trek: The Next Sweateration, Episode 1 (Mature)

  21. The Fat

    It was both unbearable and utterly wearable. A Cruscoe skinsuit.

  22. Dur Gurd

    Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  23. The Home Team Mission

    “We got some here reports of suspicious space activity!” chortled the disgruntled dissatisfaction of one Oregonian apple picker. Pitchforks served to circumscribe the many farmers that had gathered. “Bout a quarter, half hour ago I sa...

  24. Bedtime Toad Bonanza (w/ Possums)

    Streamers, pinwheels, colours of every kind flooded the venerable home of Toadmouth Hoggington, flippers placed confidently in the highest pockets of this magistrate’s technicolor petticoat. It was bedtime, and Toastbreath liked inordinately inap...

  25. Rip Van Twinkle's Final Gift to the World (Mature)

  26. Fissure: Super Serious Psycho Chrometic Space Drama

    The final countdown struck one second too late. Mercury Sandbolt darted through the hazy aura of the time rip to a fragmented array of existences, parallel and synchronized. Our hero barrelled and rolled and mounted his space steed of heptamensions, fu...

  27. The Cat

    The cat was hungry, so she ate some food. And then some more.

  28. The Eye of the Storm: A Solemn Beginning (Part 2)

    “…If you have any information regarding these murders or other information please contact your local magistrate immediately. A state of Martial law….” The voice trailed off as Ambar switched off the radio. Ambar had the frightening ...

  29. The Eye of the Storm: A Solemn Beginning (Part 1) (Mature)

  30. Possum Patrol

    The most awesome part about Possum Day 2014 is the emergence and parading of the normal nocturnal nuisance. Just the same urban furor is created as on the birthday of Jolly old St. Nicholas and the fourth of July. My uncle was an odd woman. In his earl...

Spageti's Friends (12)

  • StudMuffin (LoA)
  • ronmurp
  • Twyst
  • The Fantastic Mister Fish
  • Kevin Lawver
  • Akheloios
  • Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))
  • Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)
  • Sam Ervin
  • zxvasdf
  • ElshaHawk (LoA)
  • Krulltar

Spageti's Followers (11)

  • StudMuffin (LoA)
  • ronmurp
  • The Fantastic Mister Fish
  • Kevin Lawver
  • Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)
  • Sam Ervin
  • Akheloios
  • zxvasdf
  • Sanglorian
  • Krulltar
  • Riley