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StudMuffin (LoA)

Joined June 2009 and calls Facemuffin (Studbook?) home.

172 stories, 14 challenges, 669 comments, and 174 friends

I’m 20. I live in Hastings, UK.
Uhhh I’m going to school for illustration, but sometimes I just, like, love writing.

Back when I was 15, I was a member of this site in it’s earliest days and I stopped using it after a while for reasons unknown. Well I’m back for now!

Stories

  1. Noir (Part 10)

    I was behind a building, a yard or so away from the cloud when an incredible force rocked my body. I heard a loud scream. Not a scream from a human, but the kind of scream that you hear when a large, cylindrical hunk of metal starts barreling out of th...

  2. Noir (Part 9)

    The buildings, the ones that hadn’t been destroyed, at least, had taken on a grey hue. The cloud, now fully formed, was as high as a skyscraper. There were people running from the explosion in all directions, some on fire, others missing limbs. I gra...

  3. Noir (Part 8)

    My eyes were just closing when there was an ear-shattering explosion. That boom was louder than my ex-wife’s mother, and trust me on this as far as mother-in-laws get, she was the worst. There were three 8 by 6 windows lined up next to each other on ...

  4. Noir (Part 7)

    I threw the paper out, and I called to my secretary, asking if I had anymore appointments. She told me I was free all day, and I silently celebrated. I left my office, and hopped on a bus; it was time for some rest. While on the bus, I ran through the...

  5. Noir (Part 6)

    I was unable to hide my joy. “Of course, it all makes sense now.” “Excuse, me?” the woman seemed confused, “what was that?” “Nothing, sugar lips. Continue your little story there.” Again, she continued, and again I drowned out the noise...

  6. Noir (Part 5)

    She bent to sat down, her shirt unbuttoned to reveal just too much. Her red, billowy hair covered her face. When she sat, her majestic beauty was all too apparent. Her eyebrows formed two perfect arches above her round, blue eyes. Her nose, about as go...

  7. Noir (Part 4)

    I swung the door open, the hinges creakier than the rocking chair my grandfather used to rest in. My secretary was already here, as expected. She told me I had a client waiting. A client? I thought to myself, at 8:30 in the morning? Must be some drunk ...

  8. Noir (Part 3)

    I stood up and opened the doors in one swift move. Today, despite my cryptogram concerns, I was smoother than a snooker ball. I placed my brown penny loafers on the sidewalk and began my journey to the other side of the block. My office was located in ...

  9. Noir (Part 2)

    I always took the bus. Owning a car just seemed to complicate things. Getting to work and back every day cost less than a gallon of gasoline, and public transportation helped me remain incognito, no license plate to track me by. Of course, I didn’t r...

  10. Noir (Part 1)

    Brad stared through the dirty, soot-smeared window on the 22nd floor of the office tower. Overcome with depression, he slid the window open and jumped through it. It was a sheer drop outside the building to the ground. Miraculously, he landed completel...

  11. I want to win the Space Cowboy challenge

    John Wayne put on his hat. This was very hard to do with a space helmet already on his head. Then Captain James T. Kirk came and shot a shitload of klingons with his Smith & Wesson.

  12. Dear Julia

    Dear Julia, We met online. You lived in Texas, I lived in Iowa. Despite our distance, we seemed to be perfect for each other. I had never actually seen your face except for in the thirteen or so profile pictures you had posted on your Facebook. One day...

  13. CRIMINAL!

    I rapped my fingers on the desk. This desk had been with me through all of my expeditions. On the other side of this desk was Charles, his hair a mess of yellow lying on his head. He was holding a hat in his hands, and he was quivering with fear. Fear ...

  14. HEY!!!

    “HEY, BILLY MAYS HERE!!!! BOY, HAVE I GOT A TREAT FOR YOU!! IT’S THE KAISER 300 AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN!! USE IT ON ANYTHING!!! TARGETS, FRUIT, DOGS!! HELL, ZOMBIE UPRISING?? BUY THE KAISER 300!!! THIS BABY WILL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF WITH HALF A SH...

  15. The Tale wherein Mr. Todd has his great revelation

    “We shall turn people…………………….into pies!!!!”

  16. A Ring of Fire (Stranger than Fiction Challenge)

    She crossed my mind as I rose out of bed. I hated myself for this obsession. As I brushed my teeth, she crossed my mind again. I prepared myself for our encounter, today, I would finally talk to her. Today was the day. I walked out of my house, down th...

  17. Harry Ficly

    Harry Potter was just a normal boy, with parents who made him sleep under the stairs. Just a normal boy, with a scar on his head shaped like a lightning bolt. But, just a normal boy. I swear. Then, one day, a shitload of owls start dropping stuff into ...

  18. The Definition of Madness

    They say the definition of madness if doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result; perhaps I should stop going to work hoping for that promotion.

  19. Lost And Found (Challenge) (Mature)

  20. Omphalophobia

    The beach. The horrible, beach. The bikinis, speedos. OH! The hairy ones are the worst! I have nothing against a persons body, nothing. But when I see that belly button, just…. there, I can’t help but shudder. EWW! And the outies? You could...

  21. No...

    She stepped backwards, the knife still in his hand. “This can’t be…” she said, “It.. just can’t be….”

  22. You Don't Always Need Protection (Mature)

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