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The Third Robot

Joined February 2010.

66 stories, 5 challenges, 447 comments, and 37 friends

Hey guys. I’m around here every now and again.

I write my stories at 3 AM.
Ficly is nifty, you’re all cool cats.
Bring on the comments, I eat them for breakfast.
I always try to challenge myself. I often bite off more than I can chew.
I’m a multi-dimensional being so sometimes my tenses will be kerfuffed.
I don’t rate anymore because I have concluded that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Stories

  1. The Good Doctors Last Fans

    “Oh boy oh boy oh boy, this one’s a steamer Jody! Come look! Quickly now!”, hollered Jake from across the hut observatory. Obedient as usual, Jody trotted in and planted her butt beside her young master. “This one’s not sc...

  2. Miss Originality

    His eye caught her instantly. Her curiousness was unlike anything he had seen before, something he couldn’t place his finger on. It came as no surprise when she noticed him staring at her from all the way across the plaza and came traipsing over. Wha...

  3. Let's Get Kraken!

    The violence intensified quickly as a blue tentacle, 20 feet long, arced out of the still waters and plunged itself towards the ship. The men, hardened by battles past, hesitated slightly at the sight of the legendary beast but they were not cowards an...

  4. Intuitions

    He bolts to his feet. The crew in the mess hall falls silent and all eyes shift to the uprighted skipper. His intuition is somewhat legendary amongst the seafaring men and has miraculously survived perilous situations time and time again. He suddenly k...

  5. In the Beginning

    The thrones were extremely impressive. His holiness was seated in a mighty oak, exquisitely carved to perfectly complement His Almighty buttocks. Fluffy clouds floated high above his brow as He furrowed it in concentration. Ace, Jack off suit. “N...

  6. Tiny Hell

    It wasn’t the vermin crawling across her bruised shins or the thirst in her throat that woke her up. Nor was it the sticky gash throbbing through her matted hair. It certainly wasn’t the dark. These days, everyone lives in the dark. Jolted ...

  7. The Long Haul

    The sudden blaring of the tinny speaker in the cabin jolted Dale awake like it had 9,130 times before. “Happy Birthday” struggled through the static. The music was for his 50th, but more importantly it was the anniversary of the launch date...

  8. Bunny Rebellion

    Atop his box he stood, surveying his people. In the coolness of the warehouse they all stood in a nervous shadow, clinging to his every word, transfixed by the single sunbeam cast across his shining, dark face. Timid and scared, Lindt’s ultimate ...

  9. Kates Cat and Kats Rat

    It was Kate who snuck back in through her window, careful to be quieter than a doormouse. Kate was much better than Kat at sneaking; Kat isn’t concerned with disturbing her parents ever since they stopped talking all those years ago. Kate, howeve...

  10. In Case You Like Fishing

    My grandfather gave me a tacklebox for my birthday seven years ago. I had never gone fishin’ before so that summer we went up north, where the horseflies are the size of biplanes and the days last a lifetime. The first cast of the day drifted in ...

  11. Growing Up In the Forties.

    Breath in, breath out. Easier said than done when flying through a sky filled with flak and bombs. The uneasy rumbling of his Wellington took an immediate backseat to the hail of bullets he was blindly flying towards. “Aim for the lights” t...

  12. The Black Prince

    We return now to our hero in the most fearful of all settings: Hell. To those who have already lain witness to the beasts and trials that this brave soul has endured, it saddens me to continue. Beneath the palace in the deepest dungeon down the longest...

  13. Blammo

    6330$ is what it all cost her. She picked it up last night at 8:30, well past her curfew, out of an old stairwell leading beneath the city. Her parents were at a government sponsored play that evening. Her dad was personally invited by his boss, a high...

  14. How to Drink a Beer

    How to drink a beer. Step one: Do something Step two: Drink a beer *Please note that steps are listed in no particular order and that step one is optional.

  15. What Are The Chances?

    It was in the early morning when he slopped into my 24-hour convenience store, dripping wet from the cataclysmic thunderstorm outside. I watched him approach the door thanks to the many lightning strikes illuminating the outside. He was my first custom...

  16. The Taste of Freedom

    The study was dark, lit only by the fireball that was once the garden shed. The silence, when compared to the sounds of flame, explosions and death, was eerie. The sounds of more distant flames, shrieks of zeds and the newly falling rain seemed like ba...

  17. At The Gates (Mature)

  18. To Survive

    The flames were engulfing the house. Despair encompassed me as I realized I was at deaths door. The only question was what would take us there. With my pistol at my side, I gazed out of a window upon the horde waiting away from the fire in the trees. L...

  19. Wisdom Is Far Greater

    “I traded the cow for this here Cat Clock” said Stanley beamingly. “A Cat Clock?! You traded a cow for a cat clock?! That’s almost as bad as trading the beans for a cow!” ’She’s mad now, but when she knows its ...

  20. C4 and a Crowbar

    Nothing more than a stick of metal and plastic without bullets, I chuck my shotgun at one the creatures and unbalance it. This gives me enough time to grab my trusty crowbar and deliver a devastating blow. The battle is thick around me, and it’s ...

  21. Nobody Better Ever Look Up To Me

    Yup. It’s that time of the month again. I personally call it the ‘Weekend-before-my-paycheck-when-I-don’t-have-money’ weekend. Yes I’m aware that it’s not very creative. Anyways, as always, I have absolutely no clue ...

  22. 64

    From a distance, it is a monolithic mountain suspended in an infinite whiteness. Its peaks penetrate no clouds and its base floats above an abyss. It is a foreboding giant yet smaller than a speck in it’s empty, limitless environment. Yet it noti...

  23. Writers Block

    Monkeys? No, I’ve already covered animals. Androids? Too Lame. Not saying robots are lame of course. Volcanoes? Hmm… has potential. So many weeks of finger tapping and empty, fruitless thoughts. Nonsense flutters in and out of my mind takin...

  24. Forget-Me-Nots and Flames

    I was sitting on our porch sipping my coffee when… it happened. My wife, as beautiful as when I first saw her, was toiling away in her garden doing what she does best, mesmerizing me. I remember thinking, right beforehand, how lucky I was to find...

  25. Breaking Into Vaults For Dummies

    So you plan on robbing a bank, crypt or safe do you? Well there’s more to it than just lockpicking. Follow these four tips for improved results and better survival chances. First and important thing to remember when thieving is to be absolutely s...

  26. Gravity of the Situation

    The white pebbly texture was uncomfortable to walk on. It gave his feet a rash and he had to be careful with every step in case he stepped off of a joist and fell through to the insulation. He hated his current predicament. Showering became a terrible ...

  27. Harpoon The Shark

    Annoyed with the sharks unacceptable behavior, you grab the nearest available harpoon. upon grabbing it you find that, to your horror, it’s actually just a stick! You look around and see that everything was merely an illusion! Apparently the comb...

  28. Jump Off a Cliff

    Thinking that the most interesting possible option includes a drunk shark you immediately jump off a cliff. Thankfully, the cliff was mere meters high and there was no lava in the pool below because the volcano was extinct. The shark is hammered. You c...

  29. Safari Trippin' (Mature)

  30. Empty Plains

    Gather round children and listen to this legend of old, passed down through the generations since the great demise. Beyond the great mountain in the plains beyond, where no mortal man now walks, is a land where the grey monoliths of old stand. The few ...

The Third Robot's Friends (37)

  • Nathaniel Payne
  • Raymond Finn
  • Paige Elizabeth
  • H.S. Wift
  • Bob Liddil
  • Gradual Uprising {LoA}
  • lastsyllable
  • Gallimaufry
  • Lighty
  • Scrawler's Secret
  • Abstract
  • Mostly Harmless
  • Gurth
  • The Full Metal Chicken
  • ElshaHawk (LoA)
  • Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))
  • Concerned Reader
  • BegoniaRob
  • Jim Stitzel
  • Magus Kyros
  • Conjoiner, Rejoinder, Poisoner, Concealer, Revelator [[Wednesday]]
  • ALRO613 (LoA)
  • thelostgirl
  • Violet Turner
  • Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars
  • THX 0477
  • Eckhouse
  • The Note Writer
  • Anonymuncule
  • Robert Quick

The Third Robot's Followers (42)

  • Sam Ervin
  • Paige Elizabeth
  • Gallimaufry
  • Scrawler's Secret
  • BegoniaRob
  • Abstract
  • dmountain
  • Gurth
  • Jim Stitzel
  • Concerned Reader
  • rawrchiteuthis
  • Magus Kyros
  • thelostgirl
  • Violet Turner
  • Mostly Harmless
  • Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars
  • Eckhouse
  • The Note Writer
  • Silven
  • H.S. Wift
  • Kay-Teaze
  • Robert Quick
  • ElshaHawk (LoA)
  • Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))
  • Charlie K
  • N. Robertson
  • Luke Nicolaou
  • HSAR
  • Conjoiner, Rejoinder, Poisoner, Concealer, Revelator [[Wednesday]]
  • Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)