Ahfl_icon

THX 0477

Joined May 2009.

538 stories, 6 challenges, 5927 comments, and 27 friends

Dr. Tim’s Neurotic Rules of Ficly Life

[Disclaimer: This is not intended to be binding nor in any way an expectation of general members of Ficly, league members, family members or wearers of Member’s Only jackets]

1. Comment to Story posting ratio must exceed 5:1. Goal is 10:1. In other words, I write a story then find five others (at least) upon which to comment before writing another.

2. For every solo shot or sequel of my own material, I must write a sequel or prequel to the work of another author. If I’m going easy on myself, participating in a challenge also fulfills this requirement.

3. If someone comments on one of my stories, I go find one of theirs upon which to comment. It only seems fair, and I like to think it encourages commenting.

4. Awesomeness is the goal, always. Call me on it when I fail, please.

5. Clearly mark mature content and err on the side of caution.

6. Golden Rule remains in effect for all sequels, prequels, and comments.

Stories

  1. Mass Exodus and Brief Encounter

    Their conversation stopped short as the real Violet came sprinting into the hall, her second hand Chucks squeaking on the linoleum. One hand on the fire alarm she stared at her friend and the mech with her. For a brief instant she seemed to stare into ...

  2. Praying for Peace is Like F-king a Sheep (Mature)

  3. Horror in Struggle

    Staggering, reeling, and fighting the urge to vomit once again as thin tendrils snaked their way to the back of his throat he lurched through the saplings. Rough bark accosted him as he bounced off the larger trees. Vines lashed and slashed his ankles,...

  4. Lengths

    I shall run to the end of your sight Far from your judging ways Your cutting gaze My lovelorn malaise The love of your heart shall wound me no more I shall ride to the end of the land Out from the jostling masses Ignorant classes Muttering asses This u...

  5. Cucumbers and Death

    Sweat glands in abject rebellion, Dakota could not fight her growing dampness and uneasiness. Options and possibilities cascaded before her mind’s eye. None of them were particularly cheery. Stop. Breathe. Think. Words from the past echoed, a ble...

  6. Follow Her to God

    As two pairs of lips parted, the spell lifted. A gentle face of understanding and affection revealed itself a patchwork mass of flame-hued scales. The jagged slice of a mouth widened to devilish grin allowing a now forked tongue to flick Carol’s ...

  7. Drums of War Not Patty Cake

    Martin only paused, that quizzical look of his plastered on his goofy mug. The sound of my own heart played as the drums of war in my ears. The lingering heat of the shower combined with the fire of rage in my belly flushing my ears red. As I waited fo...

  8. End of the Beginning

    With little more than a sigh Miranda tugged on her sneakers. As usual she’d been sleeping in her jeans, done up, belt in place. Garret’s cough reminded her to put the towel at the base of the door. “Wake up, dipstick,” she said ...

  9. Offered Help Already Taken, Chopper Babe Style

    Between the narrow set headlights Marisa could make out a distinctive grill. Two gangly youths clambored out of the Jeep, making slightly more dramatic jumps to the pavement than absolutely necessary. They approached the bike, and she slid around the o...

  10. Chopper Babe Work Around

    With a growing sense of practice that disturbed eve her, Marisa scanned the horizon then made a perimeter search around the old gas station. A jackrabbit skitted off into the bushes as she rounded the back but little else broke up the monotony of deser...

  11. Small Change, Minor Mistake

    Kewan squirmed and fidgeted, a very unhappy little fairy. He had good reason, having been called before the Council of Cavitas, and he only a junior tooth fairy. Courtiers, guards and officials milled about him, all whispers and stolen glances. His min...

  12. Pondering the Wheat

    “Wheat. Why would they put wheat on the table? Too cheap for flowers, probably.” “Charles, are you even listening?” Snapped out of his mental meanderings, Charles could only nod sheepishly and hope he hadn’t missed anythin...

  13. Getting or Gotten Loose

    The lights in the hall flickered. Her tensed muscles had no target upon which to unleash their fury as she exited the holding cell. No guard. No interrogator. Not even a lame attempt at ‘good cop, bad cop’. Laser palmed but ready she crept ...

  14. Quick Considerations

    There exist moments in life, crossroads of fate. More often than not they come and go with hardly a notice. Ordinary people miss them entirely; that’s why they’re ordinary, of course. Seizing a moment is like grabbing hold of a string fully...

  15. Failing Breath and Losing Sight

    With a riotous clang of metal they burst through the roof exit. The chilled night air hit Denton square in the lungs. He barely suppressed his wheeze, “You know we’re on the roof, right?” “Yep,” came the curt reply, “...

  16. Paradoxes: Visitations of the Lowly

    A world of squalor paraded before young Talus’ eyes, blinking in and out of existence behind the wooden bars of his cage. Nobles floated along, oblivious, uncaring, or both. Merchants zipped this way and that, urgently striving and conniving. Pea...

  17. Happy November

    The top is down, and I’m rolling through the hills. Even the wind at sixty miles an hour can’t wipe the grin off my face. Realistically it’s a few degrees too cool for a convertable, but I don’t care. The girl to my right grins ...

  18. Thanatos in Winter

    Adrift in his own tumultuous sea, Darren staggered through the crowds. Rosy faces puffed clouds of contented condensation, all seeing but not noticing. Gaeity blared from the display windows, toys, clothes, tools, and assorted finery—the accoutre...

  19. Opportunistic Theology

    Immediate concerns addressed, further questions came to mind, “Wasn’t I bleeding?” The woman raised her hand like a grade schooler on the first day, “First aid! I, um, used to be a nurse.” Nodding, I continued in my questi...

  20. Freeze Frame Thawed to Ugly

    “I can still see her, like a picture in my brain,” Jerry muttered, half to himself and half to his cube mate, fellow drone, and drinking buddy for the three day weekend. “Shhh,” came the reply from Geils, “is the office st...

  21. Don't Know Jack

    Bodies writhed and squirmed, but not in the pleasant way. Someone howled a slow wail of pain that varied rhythmically in pitch. Another voice rapidly questioned, reassured, and swore. Finally, a sweet voice, that of an angel to the ears of Denton, whis...

  22. Dangerous Accusations

    We tumbled across the front lawn, the grass feeling wet and cool through my thin, pink pajamas. The goon howled as his knee burst into blue flames while his fellows looked on in amazement. Two more approached with practiced confidence only to be rebuff...

  23. Answer to the Old Tongue

    With a choked gurgling sound the beast produced a mass of phlegm which it hurled, engulfing the fireball in an explosion of steam and bile. The warrior only chuckled as he parried the sword thrust that immediately followed. Two, three, four more times ...

  24. Help From High Places

    The painful bounces coming clearly through to my back told me we’d left well kept city roads, and this car’s shocks had seen better days. The pungent aroma of youthful rebellion told me I was not in the hands of professionals. “Oy, he...

  25. London Keep Him, Heaven Help Me

    The whole thing left me staring at the ceiling cursing time, distance, his impertinance and inconstancy. However gallant his offers, however magnificent the locale or proffered accomodations, his needs remained paramount. He needed someone there, neede...

  26. Philosophical Musing on Car Theft and General Schmuckery

    One floor down I was trying to make sense of Katy being there. Two floors down the stitch in my side morphed into a searing pain of epic proportion, or at least bad enough to make me feel like overstating. Three floors down the blood pooling in my shoe...

  27. New Neurotic Shoes

    Shoes make me worry Regretful feet are no fun at all Shoe shopping occurs in a hurry With gawkers and judgment at the mall They can see me trying They can see me lying Cause new shoes make you feel like a freak Like you think they’ll make a chang...

  28. Aim by Prayer

    Gut check time, Denton thought to himself, Man up. bear down. Cowboy up. Time for the big boy pants. With a deep breath he took stock of his motivational phrases; that was indeed the extent of ones he knew and felt were applicable at that moment. Based...

  29. Games, Games, or the Rat

    The diminutive brunette glared and Henry, “Just because our drunk friends are hooking up, does not mean you’re getting lucky.” Giggles came from the back room of the apartment followed by a muffled, “Kneeling simply ruins my nyl...

  30. Desperation Procrastination

    Colliding with the gravel-covered roof knocked the swear words out of my mouth as I formed them. Slamming into with the exhaust vent finished off what little sense I’d had to start with. Katy was supposed to be in Louisiana, visiting kin. As long...