THX 0477

Joined May 2009.

552 stories, 6 challenges, 5998 comments, and 28 friends

Dr. Tim’s Neurotic Rules of Ficly Life

[Disclaimer: This is not intended to be binding nor in any way an expectation of general members of Ficly, league members, family members or wearers of Member’s Only jackets]

1. Comment to Story posting ratio must exceed 5:1. Goal is 10:1. In other words, I write a story then find five others (at least) upon which to comment before writing another.

2. For every solo shot or sequel of my own material, I must write a sequel or prequel to the work of another author. If I’m going easy on myself, participating in a challenge also fulfills this requirement.

3. If someone comments on one of my stories, I go find one of theirs upon which to comment. It only seems fair, and I like to think it encourages commenting.

4. Awesomeness is the goal, always. Call me on it when I fail, please.

5. Clearly mark mature content and err on the side of caution.

6. Golden Rule remains in effect for all sequels, prequels, and comments.


  1. Harried Wait

    For the fourth time in the space of half an hour Capt Dogra patted himself down. The M4 was still clipped to his chest, the M9 in its holster, ear plugs in his pocket, extra ammo all around his mid-section, and a flash grenade pouch filled with energy ...

  2. Pomp and Oh Well

    Let there be cannons. Cue the acrobats and firebreathers. Bring on the vaudevillians and trubadours to artfully tell the tale of my life. Send the funeral barge into the bay to be lit on fire by a flaming hour shot by someone dear to me. Just let it be...

  3. Hymn.

    I sing a song to my love and pray she hears it Somehow carried on this dry Texas wind Her taste has left my chapped lips Sand has washed her smell from me I sing a song to my love and pray she hears it Though I pray no god hears it My begs redemption, ...

  4. Surrounded, Alone, and Dirty

    A rotund figure righted from his work and tucked his chin to let a rolling, rumbling emanation escape his gullet. He paused, then drawled, “Mmm, Fritos, Dr. Pepper, and just a hint of sugar snap peas.” “Seriously,” Camden said, ...

  5. Bad Luck Upon Bad Luck

    With a jerk and tinny screeching noise the elevator came to rest at some point between floors 13 and 16. I hadn’t been paying attention, not that it matters. Something like a hum, not at all melodious, preceded by seconds of complete darkness. Br...

  6. Fufu in My Brain

    They say, in some parts of Africa, you haven’t really eaten until you’ve eaten fufu. Fufu is flour and water boiled and stirred just about to the point that your arm breaks off. It is served with small bits of meat in savory sauce. With bar...

  7. Bubbles and Grown Ups

    With a carefully metered exhale I unleashed a torrent of tiny bubbles over the garish centerpiece. Before clearing the table they caught a downdraft from the air conditioning and swirled chaotically before dashing themselves upon the white tablecloth. ...

  8. Sincerity and Manly Emotion

    The man in the ‘You Are Here’ shirt stood with obvious weariness, which was for once not a byproduct of a sedentary lifestyle and more to do with abject demoralization. He took a lingering glance and the screen and the sea of blinking light...

  9. Something in the Night

    “Something goes here.” I spoke the words aloud, but they got lost in the wind. Leaves and blades of grass flitted across my field of vision, obscuring the already muddy issue at hand. If there was a moon I couldn’t see it. If there we...

  10. Monday Morning Greetings (Mature)

  11. Washing the Walls

    Swear words cascaded through my mind and by consequence through Lacey’s. Panic eroded the walls of my mind in slipshod fashion, like rain in a fierce wind sheeting this way and that. Lacey’s pain stung the back of my head. A Korean woman a ...

  12. Running the Meeting

    Reginald sat down with an exasperate huff. The board room was silent, aside from someone sending a text or a tweet under the table. The little tics were conspicuously loud in the stilled office. Some looked out the windows. Others endlessly reviewed th...

  13. Dumb Questions Over Slow Gin

    Tad stared across the table as his Uncle Kyle stared at his cards, the same cards he’d been pondering for nearly ten minutes. It was a slow game of gin. It was not how Tad had imagined his first college Spring Break. “So,” Tad venture...

  14. Low Key Raz-Matazz

    Gamely playing along for the sake of something to do while sitting in an elementary school office, Cara queried, “So you’re not my weird brother? You’re a creepy guy from the 1920’s?” “Vaudeville actually spanned muc...

  15. Why So Weird

    Glaring at her brother across the school office’s waiting area, Cara considered potential epithets, curses, and slurs. She settled for an accusatory, “I should be in dance class.” Logan shrugged, “The universe has a way of putti...

  16. Whether the Weather of Either

    Sam struggled to stand upright, slipping once or twice in the mud. Jesse could hardly breathe, let alone speak. Light from the windows rippled through the sheets of rain, casting everything in a tenuous glow, a fragile and mercurial reality. Wide eyed,...

  17. What to Do With Kittens

    The kittens mewed and squirmed at her touch. Hues of yellow, red, and pale green bounced off the battered walls. Susanna hummed at first, slowly building to a song, ancient and unintelligible. Two small cats rose within an aura of power and majesty, th...

  18. A Fool's Regret

    “Hello we’re representatives…” I couldn’t even really process what I was saying. Partly cause I was saying it in a foreign tongue and partly cause she was looking at me with those eyes, blinking windows into a world of hed...

  19. I'm Going Out

    “I’m going out.” I said it mostly as an instruction to myself. The empty studio apartment neither heard nor cared. On a really bad day I would have pretended the tiny barrel cactus in the window heard me. I wasn’t that bad off. ...

  20. Ink, Bovines, and the Great Religious Divide

    “Benjamin, stop doodling,” his mother rasped in a harsh whisper. “Yes ma’am,” he obediently whispered back. Only after she returned her attention to the pulpit did he roll his eyes. With the way old Reverend Stenson was go...

  21. A Newness You Can't See

    Smile nearly as broad as his grease smudged face, Terrent strolled through the market. Slim of build and lithe of foot he swam through crowd as a minnow in the idling brook. Mirthful eyes, round placid pools of blue, took in the chaos of commerce as th...

  22. In For a Penny...

    I’m in! I’m in! Frack yes, I am in! Shelley’s mind raced. Outwardly she took a controlled breath then said calmly, “Cool.” Not even close to impressed Snap snorted, “Don’t expect three cheers or anythin’....

  23. They Said It Was Going Better

    In the dark of the pod, Bondar stewed, helped in no small measure by the rising temperature. Hadn’t the trial gone better? They showed me the vids. There were crowds of supporters, rallying to my cause. Weren’t there? The accelerator thrumm...

  24. What We Seek

    “Ghost-men should pray and seek the…” A sharp voice cut his sentence short, “Ortiz, what are you mumbling about? Wait, don’t answer that. I don’t care. Get that knot undone and get in.” The silence of a wet daw...

  25. Justice, Retribution, and Shut Up

    Beaming and struggling to contain excitement the younger fellow whispered inreverentially, “It’s a good day for justice, eh Big D?” Big D rolled his eyes, mostly on account of the fact that no other soul in all creation referred to hi...

  26. In The Wrong Moment

    It’s late. Nobody knows where I am. My eyes drift this way and that, the focus shifting between the imperfections of the windshield and the infinitely distant stars. The immediacy and potential of the situation presses in upon me. The expanse of ...

  27. No Crap Today, Possibility of Later Crap

    As his partner snapped the outdated cell phone shut Herb Melcher flinched. It was a tiny noise in the midst of the spattering rain and passing cars. All the same, he knew what it meant. “Herb,” the younger detective pronounced, “We...

  28. Blurry Cartoon Faces

    The family reunion swirls around me. The occasional looks of pity are because I’m 37 and live with a half dozen cats. They don’t know that… BUZZ! So tired. My lips purse tightly. My breath catches. I have to smile and nod as some rand...

  29. Gonnadie is So a Word

    Running without looking, having already leapt without thinking, Tom surges through a mass of clinging, scraping hands. A hail of Spanish swear words and bullets fly over his head. The burrito in his gut threatens a repeat appearance. “I’m g...

  30. Simple Request Regarding Natural Production

    Jose leads the solemn procession of three out of the saloon, down a dusty street, and into the inferno of the desert. Though the sun dips low, the heat remains, even seems to grow. They plod stoicly forward, Tom a bewildered and semi-willing participan...

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