THX 0477

Joined May 2009.

538 stories, 6 challenges, 5927 comments, and 27 friends

Dr. Tim’s Neurotic Rules of Ficly Life

[Disclaimer: This is not intended to be binding nor in any way an expectation of general members of Ficly, league members, family members or wearers of Member’s Only jackets]

1. Comment to Story posting ratio must exceed 5:1. Goal is 10:1. In other words, I write a story then find five others (at least) upon which to comment before writing another.

2. For every solo shot or sequel of my own material, I must write a sequel or prequel to the work of another author. If I’m going easy on myself, participating in a challenge also fulfills this requirement.

3. If someone comments on one of my stories, I go find one of theirs upon which to comment. It only seems fair, and I like to think it encourages commenting.

4. Awesomeness is the goal, always. Call me on it when I fail, please.

5. Clearly mark mature content and err on the side of caution.

6. Golden Rule remains in effect for all sequels, prequels, and comments.


  1. Every House Needs One or More

    Rennik acknowledged with a grunt the man at the next urinal. The tile made the noise resound like that of a wild beast in its cave. The man teased with a grin, “Watch yer aim, sonny. Boys pee on the wall…and real men pee on the ceiling.R...

  2. Very Small Assault

    “Mum, the lawn gnomes are moving.” “What, Mika? We don’t…” The kettle’s impertenent blare interrupted her thought. More ritual than conscious effort, Hattie made tea, nothing exotic or fancy, just tea. Such was...

  3. Possible Somnambulism or Worse

    Much to his surprise, Theodore awoke several miles from his house. A sunrise to rival any motel art rested over suburbia welcoming him to consciousness. As he became aware that he was walking, the motion ceased, leaving him on the corner of Douglas and...

  4. One and Many More

    The window unit on the Studebaker did little to quell the desert heat, beyond perhaps creating a crosswind of stale, baked air. Fecke told himself it was still somewhat refreshing as he tugged at the holster where it dug into his shoulder. One more lie...

  5. Oblations of Offal

    Scraps of meat sizzled in the battered pan, dropped in the course of a crude butchering job on a woodland rodent. Perhaps drawn by the aroma, such as it was, a crow came slick as midnight to stalk the ground beside the fire. Ethrel cocked an eyebrow, &...

  6. Edifice's Reluctance

    Grammy Lo moaned, eyes lolling back. The air in front of the gargoyles wavered, a flicker of reality you could easily miss. With a nod Curr was off, zig-zagging low amongst the ornamental shrubbery. N-ka began a slower, slinking course to follow. ̶...

  7. Distraction (Superhero Black Hole: Part 20)

    I must be resolute. I must be firm. My gut wants to hate her, and my head wants to fear her, but… Clang, bonk, boing, thud… What are you doing? The tone is one part condescention and two parts annoyance. At least that much felt familiar. No...

  8. Primitive Alien Gods

    Bravado barely concealing sheer panic, Roderick bellowed, “RUN!” All four men and the lone woman of the group careened through the lush undergrowth, an unseen but hideously imagined beast thundering in the dark after them. Alien birds hoote...

  9. Funny Victory

    That memory struck me about midway through a 20 meter sprint to the next available cover, a toppled fruit stand. By the time my gear and I came tumbling to a stop on its far side the giggles overtook me. A grenade went off, and someone swore loudly in ...

  10. Piss Poor Comfort

    Just before dawn and half past dead the floor on the way to the bathroom swung beneath my feet. The clock’s pendulum had nothing on me and my sorry existence. Gin never did agree with me; that was your bottle. Sorry I drank it. Somewhere between ...

  11. Salamander's Gold

    Cool water slid over bared feet, albeit at a comfortably shallow depth. Todd’s ears neglected the noise from his friends’ carrying on, deferring instead to his eyes as they scanned amongst the rock and muck. Each gingerly displaced rock sen...

  12. In the Water, Mother Dear

    Glee and humidity filled the air around the swimming hole. The latter made Todd’s white T cling to his chest. The former gave his heart a pinch. “Git in the water, Pistol,” cheered his cousin, using Todd’s familiar name rather t...

  13. Derailing Inanity

    “Sergeant, can I be frank?” “Only if I can be Ernest, sir.” “A fair point, but in retrospect, perhaps you should be frank, and I shall be earnest.” “Either way I’m not sure I like the direction this conve...

  14. Arabesque, Suggest, Acquiesce

    Roderick took the quiet mumbles as permission to continue his self expression, which he did with gusto. His mother flopped down at the dining room table, sifting through bills without actually seeing any of them. Her mind clanked painfully over punishm...

  15. Bad Time for Reflection, Introspection, and Inattentiveness

    We stared at each other as the moon slowly gave way to a dim sunrise. I did at least; he vacantly pointed glossy eyes in my direction while groping the air. Obviously a bad time to be thus, I was transfixed. Something inside me wanted to say I knew the...

  16. The Boy in the Well

    More instinct and poor coordination than combat skills I rolled backwards, my flailing leg sending Sebastian hurtling over top of me and into the dark cabin. A noise half whimper and half gurgle met me as I scrambled to my feet and around. Back out of ...

  17. Office at the Point of Departure

    Folders under one arm, and her helmet tucked under the other SSgt Strykes shuffled through the dark hallways. Drab cement walls met her on all sides, as no living soul would make eye contact. She scrunched her eyes and nudged her office door open, a do...

  18. Very Quiet Warfare

    Rollers and nightcap carefully in place Betsy laid her head softly onto the pillow. Up over the flannel nightie came the smooth sheet and heavy blanket. The glow from the bedside lamp cast the room in a comfortingly warm yellow. She tried to smile at t...

  19. Destination Unknown

    From a dozen directions the cicada assailed tender ears with their monotonous song. Air heavy with humidity sloshed through young lungs that didn’t seem to mind. Sweat soaked through the battered AC/DC T-shirt, ragged jeans, and down into tattere...

  20. Tumbling Along

    Exultant yet exhausted I folded about myself in ragged attempts to catch my breath. Cold wind whipping through the open door seemed to rob the air of help and doubled my pain. Barreling into a starless night the train roared over anything more than sho...

  21. Next Level of Oh Crap

    About the same time her hand jerked me downward by the front of my shirt a blinding light sheared off the roof of the car and half the windshield. Wide eyes stung by the oncoming wind I floored it, knuckles going white around the steering wheel. The ra...

  22. Could Have Gone Better; Could Have Gone Worse

    Poor Halstead spluttered and blinked as he hung upside down in the demon’s clutches. I couldn’t help but spare a thought for how many times I’d put the old goat’s life in peril like this. A more lengthy reflection on the nature ...

  23. Situational Awareness

    Toying carelessly with a whisker Feyald leaned back, “So you are a wizard then?” He slathered almost as much disdain on the word ‘wizard’ as he had on ‘caprine’ earlier. “Hardly,” I scoffed, keeping my ey...

  24. Trying and Doing

    Two young men sat on a chilly Ottawa night, parked on the street after a tense meeting. A prickly debate had simmered, a trivial thing really, philosophical at best, the nature and manner of setting goals. The senior of the two felt compelled to press ...

  25. Close Quarter Negotiation

    Call it over confidence, but I really didn’t expect the royal guard to slam the doors to the meeting room so quickly. Halstead snorted, his gnarled hand finding its way to the hilt of his sword. Five of us and ten guardsmen in the hall, not to me...

  26. Race of Time

    “Hey.” “Hey.” “You’re back.” “Yeah, for the day. My dad got a TDY here.” “Cool.” “Yep.” For two friends who hadn’t seen one another in almost a year the exchange was li...

  27. Light, Darkness/Friends, Demons

    The chill up my spine bristled my fur. Such confusion and contradiction could only mean one thing—dark magic. If the creature were friend it made no move to announce or clarify itself. If the creature were enemy it made no advance or change in st...

  28. Cold Day with Sherman

    A mumbled order comes filtering down the ranks, “Fix bayonets. Look lively.” The contradiction stirs but does not embolden. Bayonets are for close fighting, gruesome face to face encounters. We have no choice really; the pans won’t fi...

  29. Pause Before a Question

    As usual, last Saturday morning I woke up just before 4 AM. The screaming may or may not have been just in the dream, but the scratch at the back of my throat hinted otherwise. With little to be gained by going back to bed I yielded to the call of comp...

  30. Social Submariner

    Friendly but no friend I Social Submariner Sailing delusions of depth Kept superficially kind Refusing yet demanding To be known in some measure Friendly but no friend I Voyage on, voyage on No thought for the wake Ne’er mind the stern There be a...

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