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Scroungre

Joined July 2010.

23 stories, 2 challenges, 19 comments, and 0 friends

Stories

  1. Animal Control Office

    brrring “Animal Control Office” “Hi, um, hello, my name is Winthrop, Winthrop T. Featherbottom. And I, uh, I have an animal, um, problem.” “That’s what we’re here for, Mr. Featherbottom. What kind of animal?...

  2. Where am I again?

    There’s little in loving or fighting, There’s little in cider or beer This writing, this writing, this writing, Never gave me much reason to cheer. Oh, dull is the pencil, and cheap are The editors to whom you submit, For nothing’s go...

  3. All At Sea

    As assignments go, there were worse ones than covering the world’s largest cruise liner on its first voyage around the Caribbean. Especially for a cub reporter. He’d been given a nice cabin with a balcony, in the hope that he’d write ...

  4. Ye May Be Mistaken

    “What… what happened?” “Why don’t you tell me?” “Well… I was riding in the Papal aircraft, and I heard a noise, a thump, a bang. Smoke rose all up around me, and then I was spinning and falling. Then ther...

  5. Delete me

    Duplicate story Duplicate story Duplicate story Duplicate story Duplicate story

  6. This is not a challenge entry

    I’m terribly sorry about this, but there is no “delete story” link on the right hand side of the story screen. It’s not there. And it’s not like I’m idly hammering on the publish button. The little number down on the...

  7. More Electrical Engineering

    A device that anyone tinkering with electricity and electronics must have is a VOM, or ‘Volt-Ohm Meter’. You can buy one, or you can build one. Then you can measure voltage and resistance. More sophisticated ones can measure also inductance...

  8. Old Joe

    Old Joe did so love being an American. He had flags on his truck, flags on his house, everywhere. And he was a hard worker, never without his beloved tools, his hammers, his screwdrivers, his box of wrenches. One for each size. But he also liked his wh...

  9. Electrical Engineering

    “He was an electrical engineer, I think…” So spluttered the well-meaning neighbor. The apartment was filthy. They’re all filthy, when you work Homicide. The body was in the all-electric kitchen, already somewhat cooked. Oddly en...

  10. Shine a light on me

    “Oh, the Midnight Special / shine the light on me” That song was written, you know, from the perspective of prison. The way the tracks went, the headlight on the locomotive would shine in the windows in the dark of midnight, and so they kne...

  11. Sequel

    The head of the Galactic Council sat down heavily, squashing one of his tentacles. “This court is now in session, reviewing the war crimes tribunal from Procyon Six. For the prosecution, His Enlightened Quarkty from Proc Six.” A blue thing ...

  12. Sequel

    The head of the Galactic Council sat down heavily, squashing one of his tentacles. “This court is now in session, reviewing the war crimes tribunal from Procyon Six. For the prosecution, His Enlightened Quarkty from Proc Six.” A blue thing ...

  13. Fashion Felony

    Years ago it was September And I atop the ruling class. Oh, distinctly I remember How I forced the bills to pass. The cummerbund always impressed The girls who like them fatty. Always dressed in suits well-pressed I was the epitome of natty. But quick ...

  14. A long goodbye

    Grandpa Michael made some good investments, and I stand to receive quite a pile when Gram finally goes. Alzheimer’s disease is starting to get to her. She sent me three cards for my birthday. She was a girl during WWI. Automobiles were toys for t...

  15. One more

    Okay, one more. but a deliberately separate one: I love you.* … . * This is true. Scr.

  16. Here's a few

    Only love’s flames Rough men tames. Let’s see. there is a 60-character minimum, so I’ll throw in another It’s called winning With beloveds sinning How many entries am I allowed again? Those who’re carried Over doorsteps? M...

  17. I dig too

    I work with fellow men. They are quiet. They were fat, they were powerful, but now they are thin and they are digging. There is no complaint. Complaints mean the hospital. It is cold, the ground is hard, the hole is growing. My shovel is not the best, ...

  18. Somewhere in Egypt

    “You’re yanking my chain.” “No, really, it’s SPHERICAL!” “Like I’m going to tell His Majesty Ramses II that.” “I’ve got evidence!” “Like what?” “See, there’...

  19. Somewhere in Egypt

    deleted as duplicatedeleted as duplicatedeleted as duplicatedeleted as duplicate deleted as duplicate

  20. I dig

    I dig. It is what I do. The hole we are digging is growing larger. This shovel is not interesting. It is like all the others. But this one is special because it is mine. I know the grain in the wood of the handle. I know where I got a splinter from it ...

  21. Sometimes You Just Can't

    “Dude! No!” “What?” “Dude. You Can’t Do That” “Sure I can.” “No, you can’t! A thermonuclear weapon cannot run off with non-state actors!” “Watch me.” “Dude, you’re going to start a world war when you detonate...

  22. When You Have To Go

    My little friends, I could have been a contender. Grandpa was a shell in the Great War, and Pappy fell on Hamburg in 1943. I was too young for Korea, I have to admit, but Vietnam? I could have done that. Then you’d have seen the light. Like many,...

  23. Autumn

    They said I’d get used to the coffee. It’s been 27 years, 4 months, and 19 days. Sometimes I think the sargeant sticks a dead mouse in the machine. Not that anyone here in Homicide would notice. Coffee, doughnuts, and missing person reports...

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