Avatar

zxvasdf

Joined December 2010 and calls vignettes home.

193 stories, 5 challenges, 313 comments, and 56 friends

an implosion of thought

Stories

  1. Out of This World

    “Dave, are we in outer space?” “Mmpfmmf,” mumbled Sid through several mouthfuls of hero sandwich. Fred said, “I-I farted.” “Incredible. We escaped the gravitation pull of Earth with human propellant. How come we aren’t bursting into fla...

  2. Bill Engvall Cameos

    “Oh, don’t worry it’s fine.” I nodded my thanks and started for the bathroom. A man with salt and pepper goatee walked along. He approached the alien with a yellow sticker in his hand, which he slapped on its forehead. It read: ...

  3. Sid the Schizo

    Sid strode on the sidewalk with hands thrust deep into his pockets. On his mind was the day’s ticking tocking to do list, but beneath that thought bubble roiled an engagement of blatant casuistry. Dave and Fred and Bob lived inside Sid. Dave was ...

  4. There Are Many Roads

    In an empty field near Petersburg, a farmer chewing wheatgrass haggles with a crone. A driveway, rubbled with gravel stretches to nowhere. A sand swept South African road snakes to a sunset filled with dust devils, Ntembo clicking quietly to an arachno...

  5. Birth Pangs

    He emerged from the cave into a night song of wind and insect. They left on streamers of pearly light that drew on itself in the sky, like reverse video of an explosion. Then there were just stars and a feeling in the heart. It was not emptiness. It wa...

  6. Transcendent

    If it makes you feel any better, Noah, your friend is not in any pain. He is Ke-be-cum-ig-ish-kunk, truly He Who Treads The Earth To The End. We asked him first, and he came willingly, saying the world didn’t fit for him anymore. He paved the way...

  7. Temporal Onanism

    “Mum, I’m pregnant.” Waves of cold contempt. “Who’s the father?” “It’s difficult to explain.” “Do try.” The word is laced with icicles. “You remember daddy’s pet project. Fro...

  8. Interrogation

    “Why did you do it, Mr President?” “Please, call me Phil. Can I have a cigarette now?” “No, and no.” Sounds of meaty, cracking violence. “Now Mr President, don’t get blood on the carpet. Why did you do it...

  9. Garden Felicitations

    Miss Olivia Ladgrise confers with a close acquaintance, the Madam Jessica Souperkoup, concerning the subject of a favorite employee and his esteemed qualities in the garden and kitchen: “I love how he manhandles my watermelons and delicately pluc...

  10. Garden Felicitations

    Miss Olivia Ladgrise confers with a close acquaintance, the Madam Jessica Souperkoup, concerning the subject of a favorite employee and his esteemed qualities in the garden and kitchen: “I love how he manhandles my watermelons and delicately pluc...

  11. The Wheels of Time

    A bone white moon illuminates a rolling country. Upon a hill rippling with fragrant tallgrass billows a tent. It extrudes a tongue of warm light, welcoming and beckoning. You enter to find a strange man seated among fine cushions that gleam like very l...

  12. The

    A bone white moon illuminates a rolling country. Upon a hill rippling with fragrant tallgrass billows a tent. It extrudes a tongue of warm light, welcoming and beckoning. You enter to find a strange man seated among fine cushions that gleam like very l...

  13. The River of Light

    In the weak light emanating from the door’s outline, Noah could make out the prostate form of Kebe. He was not dead; the rhythm of his breathing encompassed glacial eons. Growth seemed to be bursting from each orifice in tangles of vines sproutin...

  14. ex nihilo

    Then there was light, hot and ever expanding in an incredible instantaneous rush into a formless mass jostling and rubbing and attracting until clumps were formed into giant gaseous hatcheries winking and blinking with the birth of stars bursting forth...

  15. Fecundity

    They started with crude tools. They were very good at killing. They were also very good at loving and dreaming and sharing. They gathered in clumps which occasionally fissioned and fissioned, yeasty like, until they were all over the place. They master...

  16. oopas

    An ink black teardrop hangs, surrounded by oopas of the same shade, and collapses into a dot. The oopas cheer. A question mark wavers above the dot until it realizes it resembles the oopas! It is welcomed into their fold and they rock and roll. The cal...

  17. Behind the Blue Door

    Bob, you lucked out. For me, it was the blue door. Had I known what was behind it, I would never have opened it. All morning, passing along the hall, I stared at the door with every ounce of my attention. I was transfixed. I caved in. The sign on the d...

  18. Angels for the Needy in Flight

    “Blake?” It’s the mission coordinator. “Look at me, can you look at me? Ok, buddy. You were hit by an Angels for the Needy relief plane. Yes, bud, the one with the weird Christmas music nobody can hear in the sky and the garish ...

  19. The Buddhist's Dilemma

    “I shall not kill any living creature, personally nor by proxy.” The Buddhist spoke, even as cockroaches crawled over his zazen form in the middle of his New York City apartment. “Then why the hell did you call me?” asked Deuce ...

  20. The Doomsayer

    As always, the streets are crowded with taxis and expensive cars. As always, the sidewalks seethe with pedestrians. As always, the doomsayer wades through the tide of humanity with his message of catastrophe. “Bomb Alice and Atlas! Topple the Tot...

  21. Coffee Break at the Collider

    “Are we playing God here?” “No.” “No? Smashing shit together just to see what comes out isn’t playing God?” “No. God would have more finesse. We are children cracking open clams for pearls.” “...

  22. Reality Tripping

    …you face a desperado whipping out good ol’ six-shooters hip squirting water onto laughing children tumbling onto grass burning lava blackening skin yelling at mausoleum insects sliding along weird buccaneer whims while hunters slaughter po...

  23. Angels for the Needy

    “Honey.” It’s your mother. “Look at me, can you look at me? Ok, honey. You were hit by an Angels for the Needy truck. Yes, honey, that’s right the trucks with the weird Christmas music even if it’s the middle of July...

  24. The Captain, The Blogger

    The Captain also spent most of his time in his quarters, crouched over the console. Everyone on the USS Crusher read his blog. Some even bought his DVDs and his fictional memoir as seen from the eyes of a cast member in a television show a spaceship th...

  25. The Death of Awesome

    I contributed to the Death of Awesome! http://www.protagonize.com/story/the-death-of-awesome

  26. It's a Gas!

    In the cereal aisle a fart is heard. Jack turns to her with a smile, “It’s a normal bodily function. When it demands to be heard, it is heard.” Jill vehemently shakes her head. “It’s just something you don’t do in public!” She wrings her ...

  27. The Good-Bye

    Sean, The side not facing the barrel, naturally. Of course things were much simpler; we didn’t have to kill anyone to stay alive. Playing Cowboys and Indians never prepared us for the reality. This is a complex world, Sean. This ain’t the D...

  28. Battle Royale

    And then there were two. The smell of blood was almost indistinguishable in the salt wind. Surf crashed against the beach, sending fingers of foam greedily grasping at the tide line. Lisa stood on the baking sand, a knife in hand. The strong wind stirr...

  29. The Dark Matter Bificurator

    Well, it seemed Kyle had managed to build a dark matter bificurator, and it was all Jeron could do not to gape in astonishment as the machine started up. It crackled with blue lightning which arced along the array of tesla coils spiraling its massive d...

  30. One Thousand Twenty-Six

    Well, isn’t it easy? A love story made people in the space of 1024 characters. Victory is salty.