It was a green tinted beer in one of those old hinged top bottles. The label had a hand painted look and displayed a flock of smiling cartoon eagles. I was feeling adventurous and decided to have some variety that Friday night.

My first swig came on the front porch in the dim light of mosquito repelling citronella candles with lazily blinking fireflies floating in the darkness. I sat back, closing my eyes to savor the taste. It tasted like tree bark with a singed rubber aftertaste. It was, however, potent.

My stomach and mind took the first wave of euphoric calm. Then my whole body felt relaxed and weightless. Contentment seemed to overpower any other thoughts. I felt happy. Actual happiness, not chemical euphoria. My face was creased with a bold smile and I couldn’t imagine feeling any better.

I opened my eyes to read the label and discover the contents of this beer. I saw only darkness. Looking down, I saw a candle-lit porch 50 feet below my floating body.

Oh, Hell. I thought, beginning to descend.