Wind in the power-lines

Avatar Author: ethelthefrog Arms, legs, the usual. I value feedback, so feel free to rate my stories with a 1 or a 2. I only ask that you tell me why when you do so, so I can make my next story better. Read Bio

The child lay still, awake but mostly divorced from space and time, on a couch in the centre of a sphere. It was dark at the moment, the only sound that reached her ears was the rising, falling hum of wind in power-lines. Sensors stroked and probed her from time to time but, for the most part, she was left to her thoughts.

The thoughts she thought were calm ones today. She dreamt of wide open spaces, of the endless and intricate patterns made by wind in ripe barley; of the sound of a glider coming down to land; of the shapes made by cumulus as they scud across sapphire skies.

She dreamt of a red bicycle, the fastest on the street, of how it sailed through the air and brought joy to excited faces. She dreamt of a large strong hand enfolding her own as she stood watching the field. She dreamt of a boat bobbing across the lake, stirred only by the wind whistling in the power-lines.

The sensors moved to probe her once more and her daydream was snuffed by the darkness.

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  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    I’m a little confused as to where the wind is coming from.. she’s in a sphere, and asleep, and there’s probes, but she hears wind.. And then she dreams no more, was the wind in her dream?

  2. Avatar ethelthefrog

    She’s awake. The sound is within the sphere. Maybe the power lines are outside, maybe “they” are playing the sound to her.

    The probing is causing her to lose consciousness or pushing her into another plane of consciousness.

    I’m guessing I didn’t do too well at conveying… anything at all… in this narrative.

  3. Avatar Horrorfan13

    I like this. Your descriptions are great. I could really envision the scene. But it does beg for some explanation. Maybe a prequel or sequel??

  4. Avatar ethelthefrog

    You have your prequel

  5. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    okay second read through, still don’t see that she’s awake, but the stark contrast between the field and things of her dreams and the cold probes is just way too wacky. I’m still lost on the pain.. it was mental anguish?

  6. Avatar ethelthefrog

    I reworded slightly to imply that she was still awake. The pain in her abdomen is highly significant to the direction of the story. All I need to do now is work out what it is…

  7. Avatar ethelthefrog

    Reworded again, being explicit about her state of consciousness (at least at the start of the piece)

  8. Avatar dkscully

    Your juxtapositions are… too deeply disturbing for me, this time.

  9. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    yeah okay, that’s better. :)

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