Contusion [poem]

Avatar Author: Ana Cristina Writer, teacher, & hopeless romantic with a penchant for falling for fictional characters. Read Bio

shudder shock of blood that rises
beneath my skin —
crimson in its urgency
sudden in its intensity
all my limbs are frozen, inarticulate
as I am made newly aware
of the fragile cage that houses me
I rub at the unfurling bruise
as if to blot the pain
that pulses, bell-like, in my thready veins

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Comments (10 so far!)

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  1. Avatar kaellinn18

    I enjoyed this poem very much! I love the imagery, and it flows nicely.

    I also like how it’s left to the reader to decide how the bruise occurred. My first instinct was that someone had hit the person, which I think is kind of sad and says a lot about my view of the world. But he/she could just as easily have bumped an arm or leg on something. Thanks for making me think!

  2. Avatar gĀ²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    Perhaps the most elegant description of a bruise I’ve read. Rather thought-provoking, not just in the reason for the bruise but also our own fragility. I like much.

  3. Avatar Ana Cristina

    Thanks, guys! I was worried the poem was too short and that its length made it lacking in some way. Glad to see this wasn’t the case. :)

  4. Avatar Mystique

    I loved the lines ‘as I am made newly aware
    of the fragile cage that houses me’..fragile imaginative! nice!

  5. Avatar Nouvelle Bardot

    This piece really stabs you. Great work!

  6. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Really lovely, especially that last line. Great job getting across in a subtle way the theme of mortality and the fragility of life. Kind of makes me think of my ‘Scars and Memories’ poem I wrote back, only a sort of mirror image view of the occurrence.

  7. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    not too short at all! And I agree about the theme you’ve conveyed, and now I feel less immortal.. I always think I’m stronger than I really am. :)

  8. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    Heartbreakingly intense.

  9. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    This has been nominated for the poetry ficly book.

  10. Avatar Ana Cristina

    Yay! Thanks for letting me know, Elsha. :-)

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