A Poor Decision

Avatar Author: M.K.P. I’m a technology freak and fascinated with gadgetry and how it works. I sleep with the radio on to feed an incessant need to be up to date and in touch with the world around me. In stark contrast though, I am perfectly co... Read Bio

Without hesitation, gravity took over and sucked Jane speedily toward the canyon floor. Fear began to overwhelm her and she struggled to twist her body to face her would be rescuer. “He’ll come — he has to come!”, the thought raced through her mind in a desperate attempt to keep the terror at bay.

But he did not. William caught his breath as she took that step. Jane was always trying manipulate him into using his ability and now she had gone too far. What was she thinking?
“I CAN’T FLY!”, he screamed over the ledge. “And I couldn’t catch you if I wanted! I have wings not a rocket strapped to my ass!!!”

Jane reached the bottom sooner than she anticipated and with a sickening thud. William hung his head for a moment, more out of frustration than respect, took a slow deep breath then straightened his form. He began removing all evidence he had ever been there, leaving only traces of Jane. He peered over the edge one last time. He never liked her much anyway.

And then a rustling from behind …

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  1. Avatar kaellinn18

    I was hoping someone would take the darker side of this story if it was sequeled. Kudos.

    William is a bit more emotionally disconnected than I would expect, based on the first story. I would think he’d be more upset than he is here.

    Other than that this is really good.

  2. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Interesting and unexpected. I wonder with Jane was really expecting to be rescued, or whether there are greater forces at work…

    I kind of agree with kaellin about the characterisation, but then clearly you’ve consciously taken it in this direction, and that contrast could make for a well developed character in the future. Indecisive. Fickle, even.

    More kudos for starting your life on Ficly with a sequel – that’s the spirit! A very respectable first story. MH :)

  3. Avatar kaellinn18

    I didn’t realize this was your first story on the site. Definitely off to a good start!

  4. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    ‘…never liked her much anyway." Loved that line. I kind of liked the very honest feel to his frustration. I mean, death is sad, but it’s a little harder to care about someone who dies because, basically, they’re a moron.

  5. Avatar M.K.P.

    Thanks for the feedback and encouragement! Much appreciated!

Inspired by

William looked over the cliff side, his stomach doing somersaults. The river, snaking through the valley below, sparkled in the afternoon sun...

Wings by kaellinn18

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