Carbon Monoxide All Around!

Avatar Author: Stovohobo _Great stories happen to those who can tell them._ -Ira Glass, although he attributed it to Anonymous. If you comment my stuff, please be as nit-picky as necessary. I crave constructive criticism. Also alliteration.... Read Bio

“So now that we have discovered Earth and its glaborious wonderworkings, how shall we greet them, O Most Sugary Overlord?” Zamboblion hummed.

“I would think a Celebratory Mercury Shower to be most appropriate.”

“Computing, O Master of All Things Cocoa. Result: mercury is toxic to Earth’s primary sentient species, the Humans.”

“Unfortunate. Our customary Congratulations Cloud of Carbon Monoxide?”

“Toxic as well, O Muculent One.”

“Hmm. Search their orbobulating satellites for history on the species,” the Supreme Ruler bubbled through his molten chocolate throat.

“Searching…result: Humans enjoy socializationing and eating. Often-used objects for possible message receivers found: ‘toilet paper’, ‘Big Macs’, and ‘Twitter.’”

“Beam the Congratulations message to all three, just in case.”

Zamboblion’s eyes grew wide. “Wait—Sir, the Humans enjoy sugar-filled concoctions…especially chocolate.”

The Supreme Ruler paused. “Destroy them all!

“Yes Sir. Beaming message.”

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Comments (3 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Oy

    Sugar… The bane of our race

  2. Avatar N555champ & X-Ninja

    socializationing just sounds like George Dubbya Bush made it up. Hahahaha. good story though.

  3. Avatar Lauren of Cydonia

    That was so amazing. It made me smile. Thanks for that. I have to admit, I do love the random words. They’re so … random.

    Awesomeness.

Inspired by

Enrik sat on the toilet, pushed up his thick-framed glasses and thought. After he was done thinking, he reached for the toilet paper. “...

Upon the Throne by Fyora Cartagan

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