Escape Velocity: +2

Avatar Author: ZorkFox ZorkFox is an adventurer, a magician, and a treasure hunter—not necessarily in that order—with a few side projects to round out his résumé. During his sojourns in the Great Underground Empire he encountered much that was ... Read Bio

Mendoza Ramirez, captain of the pirate ship Conscious Consumer, sometime blackmailer and frequent murderer, was impressed with the speed displayed by his prey as it whirled to escape. But no one is fast enough to dodge bullets, let alone blaster bolts.

A gout of sparks sprayed from the life support package on Jordan’s space suit. A muffled whump! of exploding vacuoles in the pack spoke rudely of internal damage and Jordan was flung bodily to the deck by the violent expansion of breathing gasses. Fragments of metal and plastic caromed around the curved walls.

Ramirez hoped the tumble had broken Jordan’s nose, and that he wasn’t quite dead enough not to feel it. Smoke clouded the air faster than scrubbers could remove it. A friendly chirp from the computer preceded a benign reminder to evacuate.

Rage only partly sated, Ramirez succumbed to a desire to peer into his antagonist’s lifeless eyes. He approached, spurned Jordan with his toe.

This decision earned him a knife through the top of his other foot.

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Comments (3 so far!)

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  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    yeah, he isn’t dead. :) this is a nice twist to the action scene, the other POV.

  2. Avatar kaellinn18

    This is a nicely described action sequence. I could visualize the whole thing vividly in my head.

    The one mistake I see is that “quiet” should be “quite.”

  3. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    A little bit of backstory for Ramirez which is nice, and a good continuation with development of a really fab villain – very dramatic which is a little cheesy but extremely readable!

    Looking forward to more – MH:)

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Crouched on the deck, Jordan made an easy target for the pirate: a twitch of the blaster could cover him in any corner of the airlock. He dro...

Escape Velocity: +1 by ZorkFox

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