Same Old Scene

Avatar Author: Eckhouse "Lunch is for wimps." Read Bio

Through his fingers, Henry stared at his pallid reflection. He instinctively lit another cigarette, now thoroughly emboldened in his disdain for the house rules. As smoke wafted into the unlit void of the rafters, his inner monologue continued.

Just a role. Great role, yes, played by greats, but just a role on a stage.

The fuck? Gielgud, Olivier, Barrymore – Burbage, for Christ’s sake – might as well resurrect them all and spit at their feet. For every great, a thousand useless hacks -

But they would have sooner chosen a death on stage than the sacrilege of not even trying.

“Henry!” Mary the stage manager hovered in the doorway, radiating daggers. “No damn smoking, and five minutes!”

Henry indulged with one more drag. He crushed it in the ashtray, its smoke and acrid smell more intense in the throes of death, letting his breath out slowly. Through the cloud, he saw the reflection of every old bruise and insult, and for a moment could feel each one again.

For the first time, the strength was real.

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Comments (5 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Wow. This is very, very good, that penultimate paragraph particularly – strong imagery but with a plot driving through… Is this Hamlet?

    Great character, very original looking at a kind of dramatic renegade…

    Fab work, thanks for entering! MH :)

  2. Avatar John Perkins

    Overall, like all of your stuff, this is very well written. Exemplary use of imagery and character development. Especially, as MH noted, in that penultimate paragraph.

    However, I’m slightly befuddled by the beginning of the third paragraph. “The fuck?” just doesn’t resonate with me as a part of this particular thought sequence. Unless he’s questioning himself on calling it “just a role,” but that’s not how it reads to me. If you added a question mark to the first line of the second paragraph and had it be “Just a role?,” then I could see the question in the next paragraph.

    This could just be an issue with my reading comprehension though, so take it with a very large grain of salt.

  3. Avatar Eckhouse

    That’s a problem I continually struggle with – how to effectively convey a vacillating stream of thought into written dialogue.

    Thanks to both for your comments.

  4. Avatar kaellinn18

    Wow, this was exceptional. I guess this blows my shot at winning this challenge. How the hell did you manage to fit a character study in 1024 characters?

  5. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Eh, I got the vacillating just fine. Worked well as far as I was concerned. Loved the ending with a little possible rush of confidence or strength to carry on stage. Lovely little thoughtful piece from the actor’s perspective.

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