Gone Sour

Avatar Author: Mostly Harmless Good day! The name's Ed - theatre buff, pianist and proud Ficleteer... Of course, all comments and ratings are appreciated, and I do try to do my bit as well - if you want to note me, that's always pleasant too! ... Read Bio

Confectionery, Niall knew, was a way of life. Little could he have guessed that even as Mr Cavendish sunk his teeth into an Exploding Pineapple Gum, far more tasteless characters were planning much more than a sudden inspection…

At the centre of the cavernous circular chamber, the hooded figure sat atop a throne, painstakingly constructed from shards of jawbreakers stuck together with ‘Triffic Truffles’ Super-Strong Toffee Paste.

Into the silence shuffled uncertainly a young, beautiful woman, eyes the colour of a perfect apple jelly, shining with fear. Without a word she approached the centre of the hall, balancing a domed dessert platter on the tips of her fingers, and held it out to the shadowy form.

Slowly, the figure lifted the dome, and a gasp escaped from beneath the dark hood.

“He has caramels, chocolates, gummies, hards, liquorice, lollies, sours and gums…”

From long, flowing sleeves, a pale hand emerged to pick up the offering.

A pause.

A bite.

“Oh my, this is it… The Ninth Candy!

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Comments (13 so far!)

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  1. Avatar YodaOnCrack

    Some real talent here. I enjoyed your writing style and hope to read more. Added you as one to follow.

  2. Avatar PJ (Jae) [[LoA]]

    Hehe I love how all the descriptions are in candies.

  3. Avatar Chrys W

    Really like how wonderfully descriptive this story is.

  4. Avatar Nathaniel Payne

    Flaming Hecate! How do you expect me to follow something like this? I have no doorway to the inner trappings of your mind, good sir! You dally in miracles where I deal mostly in snake oil.

    I am at once retreating back to mundane Mr Cavendish. Only his harmless banality can save me now.

  5. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    oh wow, MH, this was divine!

  6. Avatar kaellinn18

    Jebus, Ed. You’re far too young to write this well. Save something for your twenties!

  7. Avatar Gradual Uprising {LoA}

    Incredible. This proves just how amazing a story can unfold. I’m in love!! Keep writing!

  8. Avatar Paige Elizabeth

    Willy Wonka’s seemy underworld. I can’t wait to read more.

  9. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Bizarre and silly but all deftly done. Ominous too, which is hard to do when your subject is candy.

  10. Amj Lone Writer

    THE NINTH CANDY?!
    LE GASP!
    I love this, its like a delicious twist on Willy Wonka. MWAHA!

  11. Avatar Catherine

    This whole series is awesome. I’m really craving candy at the moment…..

  12. Avatar Marli

    Here Catherine,have some of mine.(early Easter chocolates) Better on your lips than on my hips. (quote is intellectual copywrite.lol. Good Job as usual M.H.

  13. Avatar Bella

    It’s wonderful. Wow…

Inspired by

“Dear Mr Cavendish,” Niall said, his words coated in the same sort of sugary sweet veneer as the confections for which he was so ...

A Sweet Confection Investigation by Nathaniel Payne