You're Not Sorry

Avatar Author: Violet Turner A writer who tries to explores the human heart, as passionately as possible. Any criticism or advice would be greatly appreciated! Read Bio

While wandering around my apartment, clustered with useless junk, I remember our first fight, appropriately in first grade.

“You stole my last strawberry!” I had accused you, along with your innocent blueberry eyes.

“I… I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry,” You replied bashfully, and I knew you were.

As I ambled to my dresser, my fingers lingered on your faded photograph, taken at the pubescent age of fifteen. Another memory was reawakened.

“Why do you always have to put me down? Just because I have a crush on you,” I had sobbed, reduced to tears after another of your cruel jokes.

“Well, its ‘cause… I like you… too. I’m sorry for hurting you,” You answered, and I knew you were.

At that point I collapsed onto what was our bed, and was filled with immediate disgust at my last memory.

I had creaked the door open, being late from work, to find you naked and busy with a blond.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry,” You said, but I knew you weren’t. And when I pulled the trigger, I wasn’t either.

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Comments (14 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar Mostly Harmless {LoA}

    Wow! I don’t know the song, and in a way I’m glad I don’t because it means I can judge this for what it is as a story…

    And it’s great.

    Nice structure to it, and I really didn’t see the end coming – the only sentence I wasn’t too keen on was ‘another memory flung into my mind.’

    Can a memory be flung? I’m not sure it just didn’t gel for me…

    But still, a really good read, nice structure and pace to it – fab ending – MH :)

  2. Avatar Ruby Slippers

    Good story! But aren’t boysenberries purple?

  3. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    yeah I’m with MH, as a story this was volatile, hard hitting, and fierce. The ending was a surprise, and the memories certainly FLUNG me around reading them, though they themselves might enter, or cross into, or project, or flit, or tumble, or crash..

  4. Avatar Mr.Gabriel (LoA)

    YES!

    Ending was great and unexpected. Totally what the song was about.

  5. Avatar kaellinn18

    I’m not familiar with the song, but as the others above said, this was a fantastic story all on its own. Well written and nicely structured!

  6. Avatar Andy G {L.O.E.M.A.T.T.L.O.A.}

    brilliant story, love the ending

  7. Avatar Eckhouse

    All I know about Taylor Swift right now is that a lot of people like her and girl has so many Grammys now that she’s tossing to the ground like plates at a Greek wedding. Now, on to your piece – well, damn! Treacle and revenge are two things that don’t work well on their own and can be tricky to merge, but this nails it. Hits all the right notes, unfortunate pun not intended.

  8. Avatar PJ Deane [[LoA]]

    I love this story, but like MH I was unsure on how a memory could be flung. Maybe it should fly, ie, another memory flew into my mind…

  9. Avatar Music-Hearted

    Ouch! This is great— I like how it progresses. I also like how you took the theme of the song to the extreme. Nice work!

  10. Avatar Sophia D'Soleil

    “Cluttered” and “clustered” sound redundant in the same sentence.

    Boysenberry is purple or black in color, so maybe you meant blueberry.

    As for the “flying memory” you could refer to it as “a memory pushed to the front of my mind.”

    “At this point, I collapsed,” is wrong. “This” is in the present and “collapsed” is in the past. You mean, “At that point, I collapsed.”

    Other than those mistakes, this is really nice.

  11. Avatar Marli

    Well done. I like how you captured the pace of the song then did the twist at the end.

  12. Avatar Paige Elizabeth

    I liked this too. Nice twist at the end. A couple of comments, I though the line “clustered with useless accumulated junk” was awkward. It broke the flow for me and made me too critical for the rest of the piece. Also, blueberries are purple. There are no actual blue foods.

  13. Avatar Catherine

    Tsk Tsk he should know better than to break a girl’s heart. I definitely wasn’t expecting this ending!
    This was wonderful!

  14. Avatar Lighty

    This is a really good story. I, too, don’t know the Taylor Swift or the song, but I liked this. The repeated ‘I knew you were’ are I think my favourite lines, especially when they’re inverted at the end. A kind of blink and you miss it ending, very understated.
    Also sloes are a blue fruit but I wouldn’t recommend using them in your description.

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