I Know This Guy

Avatar Author: Sam Ervin The pen is mightier than the sword. How outdated. In the 1900's, it would have been, "The typewriter is mightier than the machine gun." But in modern times? "The word processor is mightier than the particle-beam weapon." ... Read Bio

I know this guy.

He is the most awful person in the world. And he makes me feel like I’m worthless as well.

We’ve both been through the shits together and we got caught in the pile.
Together.

Through bad times he’s been my pebble and through good times he’s been my foe, and even though I’ve known him less than a month, I feel really unlucky to have met someone who destroys me so much.

He is my enemy.
He is my pixelated shoulder to punch at.
He can’t write.
He certainly isn’t my friend.

He doesn’t act human.

We all need a hug sometimes and I wish I could somehow teleport my arms across the sea so he couldn’t get them.
I wish I could be really far away when his world is doing whatever it is that it does.

This is the one thing I hate about the internet:

I have found a jerk who I can hate like an in-law.

And the one thing I don’t:

I will probably never meet him.

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Comments (13 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar Atjagape

    Net Nemisis, Nice

  2. Avatar Mr.Gabriel (LoA)

    Ouch.

  3. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    The perfect opposite to her entry. Though it being an internet enemy, you could always turn off the connection to him, so the story doesn’t QUITE fit together neatly, but a good reversal attempt. :) I like the teleporting arms image.

  4. Avatar Mostly Harmless {LoA}

    Absolutely fantastic. So scintillatingly sarcastic that, if you’re not English, you should be.

    Obviously hoping it’s not true, but nonetheless I found it hilarious – good work in showing how Ficly isn’t all peace, love and soft footwear! MH :)

  5. Avatar PJ Deane [[LoA]]

    Haha, I love the british sark. I want to know who this guy is…
    Nice reversal on my piece

  6. Avatar Paige Elizabeth

    Funny. I liked how you mimicked the style of the original piece but created a whole new mood.

  7. Avatar Sam Ervin

    Thanks a lot, everyone!

  8. Avatar kaellinn18

    The bizarro piece to PJ’s original. Very amusing!

  9. Avatar Andy G {L.O.E.M.A.T.T.L.O.A.}

    Nice reversal, well done

  10. Avatar Abby Wall (LoA)

    Very well done. Congrats on being featured.
    Abby x

  11. Avatar PJ Deane [[LoA]]

    Oh dude how is your featured and mine not?! Haha. Nonetheless grats on being featured.

  12. Avatar Sam Ervin

    For those only chancing upon this story after it was featured, please direct your attention to the previous story, I Know This Girl. It’s the entire inspiration for this piece and a fine piece of literature.

    Thanks, Ficly, for my first feature!

  13. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    It’s a fine testament to the pseudo-reality that is online interaction, how intense this sort of relationship can feel, all the while being done entirely from a distance.

Inspired by

I know this girl. She is the most amazing person in the world. And she makes me feel pretty awesome as well. We’ve both been through th...

I Know This Girl by PJ Deane [[LoA]]

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