God help me. Not that god exists in this setting because the writer has some sort of non-denominational generic pantheon going on… you know what I mean.

I just want more lines to speak. Is that so much? Most likely I’ll fall in the mud again- the lot of the comedy sidekick.

I must ask, why are you reading this series in the first place? It’s exploitative schlock and all the women have frankly deformed proportions- if this was real they’d have a hard time standing upright, let alone wielding a sword and prancing around in a mixture of platemail and lingerie. Tradion the Brave has all the gumption of a toddler on a sugar high, the sex drive of a mountain lion being drip-fed an aphrodisiac, and the subtlety and wit of an anvil with swords glued to it. And he’s the hero?!

Oh, and to hell with that preachy goddamn dragon. The elves are no better, talking as if they’re god’s gift to exposition. Not that there’s a god here, as we established.

Someone write a spin-off and get me out of here.