A Dead End

Avatar Author: Concerned Reader I ain't a writer right now, and I probably wont be one in the future, but I sure as hell enjoy the act of writing. I've only just started writing in the past few years, and even then have only produced short stories and s... Read Bio

The crowded streets began thinning out as night fell over the world. The day denizens replaced by the night. One wrong turn can offer a personal introduction to these darker inhabitants. John, still lost in thought and still bouncing in his shoes, took a wrong turn.

Before he could look up, he was face to face with a knife. The metal blade caught the street light, glowing against the dark alley. He froze in place, heart beating a warning in his chest.

“Gimme all you got, and maybe you’ll live,” said a voice weighted down with the tragedies and tribulations of life. John could tell he meant every word.

“I don’t have anything,” John replied.

“That’s too bad,” came the cold voice. The blade flashed forward in the night, dancing light across three faces. An impact. A strangled gurgle. A body falls.

The streetlight splashed across the body. Its breath was coming in short gurgling husks as blood oozed from the pen in its throat. John looked up from the body and saw a young girl. She was wearing his coat.

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Comments (4 so far!)

  1. Avatar Concerned Reader

    Wow. It took me an hour to write all of these on the spot.

  2. Avatar Concerned Reader

    I had a bit of character development in this one as well. A line about John’s father in law being a douchebag, but I had to cut it for the character limit.

  3. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Perhaps not as heartwarming a resolution as I expected – the dark tone here maybe clashes a little with it’s predecessors, but it still tied everything together well and certainly shows how good deeds pay off!

    Again, thanks for entering – MH :)

  4. Avatar Concerned Reader

    EDIT— I combined all my comments together:

    I’m not sure if I edited it before you read it, but I re-worded the ending so that it was more clear who was dead. In the first run, it sounded like John was dead, because PRONOUNS are hard.

    It was supposed to change tone a bit with the fall of night, to mirror the change in the town. It might have been a bit too sudden though, and I had to cut some description and exposition to fit the character limit.

    Also, thanks! I tend to like stories that are a bit darker, but still have the bittersweet or heartwarming ending. The way it ends now though, it’s left open as to how the relationship between John and Jess continues. I may add a fourth part to expound on that, but I kind of like the open ending.

Inspired by

Jess had always been alone in the streets. Ever since she could remember. It wasn’t a bad life, at least not so far. In any event, it c...

A Warm Heart by Concerned Reader