Ben

Avatar Author: Mr.Gabriel I'm just... me _The Confessions of a Teenage Prostitute_: http://ficly.com/stories/10546 Read Bio

Ben finally came out to his parents the other night. He’d known forever that he was different, but now he was sure. They called what he felt “homosexuality” or “gay” in most cases. Ben stopped caring after a while, especially after Randy finally opened up to him.

When they made the announcement, Ben thought it was the perfect opportunity to tell Randy about him; about them.

“Randy!” He whisper-shouts, “Are you going to the prom thing?”

“I don’t know, maybe. You going?”

“Yeah. But we should go. Just so we don’t have to deal with stupid girls.” Ben knew Laura wasn’t the type to go to dances, so when she would deny Randy, Ben would be the first person he’d go to.

“Sure. But I might ask Laura if you don’t mind,”

I do mind.

“I heard she wasn’t even going,”

“I’ll ask her anyway. No use in not trying?” Ben knew that once Randy set his mind to something, there would be no telling him otherwise.

“You’re right. Ask her,” Ben agrees. No use in making Randy mad, because Ben already has a plan.

View this story's details

Prequels

Oh no! This story doesn't have a prequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?

Sequels

Oh no! This story doesn't have a sequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?

Comments (5 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    Sorry if this sucks. Again, I wasn’t exactly inspired by this and didn’t really know where to take this.

  2. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    It’s almost sad how quickly Ben relents to Randy, he’s really committed to him – almost as though he would rather Randy be happy than himself…

    This doesn’t suck – I do feel it was an odd place to say he’d come out to his parents because you don’t expand on what happened, but the conversation between Ben and Randy is well-written and poignant… MH :)

  3. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    Eh. I wanted to show Ben finally growing.

  4. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    You’ve got the tense changing thing again, with some present tense stuff at the end. I think I was thrown by the parents thing too, since it doesn’t get expanded. I also didn’t get the line about the timing of the coming out and talking to Randy, cause that didn’t really seem to happen either. I think what you need to work on is the disconnect between what’s in your head and what gets communicated to the reader.

  5. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    Honestly, I don’t even know. I don’t really want to change it because, again, I didn’t really feel much inspired to write this. I kind of threw some thoughts together and published.

    As for the past/present tense, it’s not a mistake. When I give the read information that has happened, how can i possibly make it present tense? It’s like telling a short recap until you finally get to the point in time where they are now, which is in the classroom.

    This was definitely not my best work, but I tried and did my best. I’m actually quite happy on how it was. I didn’t have much space to explore how Ben came out for I only have so many characters and I needed to set this in the time where the announcement was said.

This story's tags are