Confession

Avatar Author: lastsyllable Who wants to be a writer? I do! Read Bio

“Bless me, father, for I have sinned. It’s been four days since my last confession.”

“Only four days, my child?”

“Yes, father.”

“Well, confess your sins to the Lord.”

“I have… lusted, father.”

“That is a cardinal sin, but in the Lord you will find forgiveness.”

“But father, I lusted after a young boy. In this Church.”

“You have not acted on this feeling?”

“I… I have, father. Can I be forgiven?”

“T-tell me what happened.”

“He’s one of the altar boys. He arrived early for mass one day and I cornered him in the dressing room while he was putting on his robes. I made him… do things. I told him if he told anyone, God would punish him.”

“Y-you… who are you? How did you—”

“I’m sorry, father, did that story sound familiar? Perhaps you’re the one who should be confessing.”

“Get out of here before I—”

“Before you what? Call for help? We’re alone. How far do you think you can get before I strike you down where you stand?”

“But I… you…”

“I am the Lord’s messenger, and his message is death.”

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Comments (14 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar Music-Hearted

    Whoa! I wasn’t expecting that! This is delightfully creepy, and I, for one, am glad that the priest gets his comeuppance.

    Thanks for playing!

  2. Avatar Krulltar

    I’m not sure if I should be offended, or give you an “attaboy” in light of current events. 5 stars either way.

  3. Avatar lastsyllable

    Yeah, this was ripped from the headlines. I’m Catholic and I’ve never had any such experience with a priest, but there certainly are bad apples. Thanks for reading!

  4. Avatar Robert Quick

    The dialogue is excellent, well scripted, and sounds real. In addition, I can tell that there is a story unfolding even as the dialogue moves on. Excellent entry.

  5. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    awesome job! Inspiration can be found anywhere!

  6. Avatar N. Robertson

    Bam. I think this would be a little more satisfying if we actually saw the priest get stabbed or whatever, but good job nonetheless. It just seems to be a drop off ending to me, but hey, what I just said.

  7. Avatar lastsyllable

    I guess I could have had him gurgling or something, but I thought implication was enough at the end. Plus I couldn’t describe anything… dialogue only, as per the prompt! Thanks for reading you guys.

  8. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Awesome and brutal and cathartic in this time of rampant scandal for the church. Frighteningly enough, this doesn’t seem all that far-fetched, and I won’t be surprised if it starts to happen in real life.
    Nice job with the twist around.

  9. Avatar The Third Robot

    Very good. I was kept very intrigued the entire way through.

  10. Avatar cthulhuburger

    I think this works better with the current ending. There’s no need to include the death at the end. Readers are smart enough to figure it out.

  11. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    HOLY! That was good!

  12. Avatar Music-Hearted

    Congrats, lastsyllable! You’re the winner of the Dialogue Exclusive challenge! I felt that your entry used a combination of great dialogue and intriguing plot to create an entire story out of a conversation. Great work!

  13. Avatar lastsyllable

    Thank you so much! I’d pretty much given up on winning because so many other entries blew me away with their awesomeness, so this is great. Thank you for creating the challenge in the first place; I really enjoyed writing for it.

  14. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Wow. Just, wow.

    Topical, controversial and remarkably well-written.

    You should be very, very proud of this.

    MH :)

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