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Breakfast for Dinner

“We’re having breakfast for dinner.”

“What about the ham?”

“Your dog ate it. How do you want your eggs?”

“Fido ate the whole ham?”

“Well yeah, I guess the dumb dog did! It was sitting on the counter thawing out just like you had it, and when I came out to make lunch for the kids it was gone.”

“… where’s my dog?”

“…”

“Ellen, WHERE THE HECK IS MY DOG???”

“Outside.”

“I don’t see him.”

“I’m telling you, he’s outside.”

“Outside of where?”

“Not MY house, that’s where. I paid money for that ham!”

“Fido did not eat that whole ham! It’s too big. There’s no way he could have done it. Anyway, I thought we had a deal. I thought we had decided that we were not going to get rid of the dog. Ever. Well, until he dies. But he has a lot of life left in him!”

“Not if he ate that whole ham, he doesn’t. Your dog is going to be pretty sick.”

“He could not have eaten that whole ham. And if he is sick then he should be comfortable. What’s that?”

“What?”

“In the oven. It looks like-”

“Howdoyouwantyoureggs?”

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