Gasping for air, I wake up with my body aching. Suddenly he comes into my mind and I feel a jolt of overwhelming lonliness, of wanting him to feel the same. This longing fills every part of my body and I bang my hand on my pillow. I look at the clock and it reads 3:00 am. I shift around at an failed attempt to be comfortable. You can do this ,I tell myself. You don’t need him. I stare at the ceiling, exhausted eyes wide open. Lying to myself is impossible. Tears fall and memories of where I should be flip through my mind. “I do need him,” I whisper. I grab something on my bed and through it across the room. I want to scream. I want to make him feel this pain. No more sleep again tonight.

Again I lose a fight with myself.