Haunted House For Sale

Avatar Author: lastsyllable Who wants to be a writer? I do! Read Bio

“So, that’s the grand tour,” the realtor said, flashing her pearly whites at Hank. “What do you think?”

“Needs a lot of work,” he said, ticking off items on his fingers. “Every door and window squeaks, not to mention the stairs. I’d have to lubricate all of—”

“That’s minor,” the realtor interjected.

“Hmmph,” Hank said. “Then there’s the insulation. This place is so drafty, I bet doors slam shut on their own a lot, and there are cold spots in some rooms.”

“Nothing a little ductwork won’t fix!”

Hank ran a hand along one of the walls. “You may have noticed stains on the wallpaper and carpeting, even the ceiling. Some of it looks like water, which is bad enough because that means mold, but some is… reddish brown.”

The realtor coughed. “Let’s not be brash. We’d be happy to negotiate a credit for repairs—”

“But you’re already asking almost nothing on account of the rumors.”

“Yes, but the rumors are—”

“Probably true. Regardless, you’d need the patience of a saint to live in this death trap. I’ll pass.”

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Comments (7 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))

    Wow! Realtors are so intimidating I couldn’t stand up to them there and then!
    This guy is one lucky chap. There’s probably a slaughterhouse in the basement, or ghosts living in the walls.

  2. Avatar Luke Nicolaou

    Haha a good interpretation of the challenge. This guy is definitely genre savvy :D

  3. Avatar Stovohobo

    Very true to the cliché. I like.

  4. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Fits the challenge perfectly – I think it’s probably the most realistic and subtly intelligent entry I’ve read…

    And, perhaps unintentionally, you’ve written a wonderfully horrific character in her own right with your pushy realtor – can she have a spin-off? MH :)

  5. Avatar lastsyllable

    The poor realtor… maybe she will get her own story. The trials and tribulations of selling houses where people died, or that are built on ancient Indian burial grounds, or that have portals to hell in the closets…

  6. Avatar C. Augusto Valdés

    a realtor trying to sell haunted houses… I smell a pilot for a TV series there :)

  7. Avatar The Full Metal Chicken

    I’ve met a few realtors like that, well done.