In early April, Jacob took a shine to Lizzy, whose proper and full name escapes me. Some time in May, Horrace noticed this fact. Teasing commenced before June. Lizzy, on account of a preoccupation with butterflies, didn’t notice until July that any of this. August brought a twist, as Horrace’s youthful antagonizing of his brother somehow resulted in his own warm feelings for Miss Lizzy.

This would not be to her benefit or pleasure, as they would all learn by mid September. The fire of lust burned mightily in Horrace, again a trait often confused with manliness. This fire, fueled by gin, whiskey, something the barkeep brewed in a bathtub, and the bitter resentment of a half dozen rejections, blazed a whole through what little common sense Horrace had.

Curse words and spit flying, he commenced on the evening of the seventeenth to drag Lizzy, ingloriously by the hair, from the saloon to the street with a dusty, lustful course set for the hotel.

She was none too pleased about that.

Neither was Jacob.