I had so many questions but the other voice didn’t respond to them. I didn’t know if it was ignoring me or gone. Was I getting crazier? Sometimes that happened to us.

My stomach reminded me that food had been promised. I wanted to take a quick shower, but once the hot water hit my sore muscles, I took my time. I’d forgotten what being warm felt like. It was luxurious. I scrubbed away the accumulated grime that had began at Exodus. It was a joy just to shampoo my hair. Ragged and short, it’d still grown faster than I’d hoped. It’d been nine years since the last time I’d been allowed hair. Running my hands through it, it felt like a boy’s haircut. Between that and the tattoos, I looked like a boy- a skinny punk.

Unbidden, thoughts of the last few days bubbled to the top of my mind. I tried not to think about the deaths I’d caused. I never wanted to fight, or kill, or get anyone else killed, but they wouldn’t leave me alone. Why wouldn’t they leave me alone? Oh, Vasily!

My eyes stung as the tears came.