Five! No, three sir. Three!

Avatar Author: Radical Yellow Duck Ok, I'm back. One heart attack, a triple CABG (Coronary Artery Bypass Graft, pronounced cabbage) and two sessions of beating my computer into submission. I am back. I'm old. Real old. I'm so old I remember when dial... Read Bio

I became aware just a moment ago. I have no remembrance of any past. About me, sensors begin to feed me information. I’m moving, though not of my own volition. The sun, no… two suns, shine brightly on the… An object flies over me, and I can identify it as an RPG. Rocket propelled grenade. Hulan manufactured, thirty meter 50% kill radius, range 1300 meters. How do I know that?

I bounce and can see down. I’m being carried, by an armored man. Or more precisely a man in a Mk V mechanized battle suit. Friendly, do not engage. More data incoming. Enemy ahead, inside that structure. IR sensors detect minimum 23+ enemy personnel. Command transmissions emanating from inside. Probable Command Post 85+%, target accepted.

I’m hoisted to the soldiers shoulder and in less than a second I am flying across the intervening space and smash through the window. I roll to the feet of one of the Hulan and start to speak…

“I am a 30 second bomb, I am a 30 second bomb, 29, 28, 27…”

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Comments (11 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Robert Quick

    Reminds me of the opening scene in the book Starship Troopers.

  2. Avatar Jessica Cahill

    I love this. The newly awakened perspective is awesome.

  3. Avatar Kihd

    I agree with Jessica, although I’m not sure I understand the title…

    Funny piece though. It makes me wonder what made him aware all of the sudden.

  4. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Very tragic way to come into awareness. Reads nicely and has good consistency within it. Nice job on the details as well.

  5. Avatar Jason Month

    Oh god that’s morbid!

    That reminds me a lot of this one comic I read, End Town. Without going into detail, some of the tech is given intelligence by removing, brainwashing, and installing the brains of the less fortunate. Things like cars, scanners, and guns.

    I mention that, because in this context, that’s got a lot of connotations. Reduce, reuse and recycle.

    Also, clever title.

  6. Avatar Horrorfan13

    This is an interesting take and if I would have picked up on the title sooner, I would have known before I read it that it was a bomb. I love Monty Python! Good job on the details!

  7. Avatar Marli

    This was so funny. I’m with Horrorfan. I think we tend to slip over the title sometimes to our detriment but this one was so descriptive thats why I read it.

  8. Avatar Kihd

    Aah, Monty Python. I’m deprived…Never seen Monty Python, never read Harry Potter.

  9. Avatar Riley

    MONTY PYTHON REFRECNCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWESEOME!!!!!!!

  10. Avatar D.E DeWitt

    Nice POV. Fun piece.

  11. Avatar Radical Yellow Duck


    The title comes from MontyPython and the Holy grail and references the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch, and King Arthurs difficulty in counting. You should see it if you can, it’s a hoot. Or should I say Zoot.

    Bad bad Zoot. Wicked naughty Zoot.
    She has set alight the signal in the tower, which I just recalled is grail shaped. Oh you must punish her.

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