Circle of Hell

Avatar Author: A Dabble of Thelonious Currently competing in a writer's block marathon. Please critique. I'm not in high school, my feelings won't get hurt. Read Bio

the room, ready for trouble. A swift glance told me everything I needed to know. It was the torture chamber, and the torturer was in.

I threw myself across the room in a desperate rush, catching him by surprise. We went down in a tangle of limbs. Pain shot through me as I fell atop his spines. He fought to free his arms, but even his unnatural strength was no match for the rage and hate that had built up in me. With my free hand, I drew the rusty spike that I had secreted out of his chamber days before. I brought it around in a short, brutal arc, burying it in his throat. Thick black blood poured out, steaming when it hit the floor.

Our struggle had attracted attention more quickly than I had hoped. Voices growled in the hall, coming this way. I limped across the room to the only other door. I didn’t know where it went, but it was better than here. It was locked, but that wouldn’t stop me. Not today. I took a deep breath and with a running start slammed into the door. The frame shattered and I burst into

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Comments (8 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar Olivaw

    Oh, very nice.

    I like the mention of spines, with no other context.

  2. Avatar jesteram

    Using “secret” as a verb is about the best thing you can do. This is a nifty little slice of drama from a nifty little writer. Not that you’re little or anything…how would I know? You look like Chevy Chase.

  3. Avatar N555champ & X-Ninja

    I love it.

  4. Avatar AdorableBlanket

    way to rip off finnegan’s wake you doucher

    (i love this piece. it’s fantastic, and the title clues you in to what’s happening to this poor soul)

  5. Avatar lostsalient

    Oh man I am entertained. The title didn’t tip me off until I’d finished reading, you clever, clever goose.

  6. Avatar Skull Man

    I like it. Very clever, cleverface. Also, evocative description should go without saying for your stuff at this point.

  7. Avatar J.M.V.

    It’s a clever, fun piece, but the mood is a little vanilla.

  8. Avatar A Dabble of Thelonious

    Ahh, comments. Thanks guys.

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