“So we bring Sam Jackson back as FBI Agent Neville Flynn for the action sequal to Snakes on a Plane,” the screenwriter was telling me. “This time it’s all about Iranian terrorists trying to wreck Christmas.”

I was wearing my producer’s face and sipping a Double Jack on the Rocks. Tilting my head slightly sideways, I nodded imperceptably for him to continue."

“So a muslim midget terrorist cell is activated by a mysterious man in black, played by former Illinois Governer Rod Blagojevich, with orders to infiltrate Santa’s Elves at the North Pole in and plant deadly snakes in the Christmas presents of good little boys and girls.”

“Diabolical,” I said, signaling for two more Jacks. “Very original.”

“Agent Flynn gets wind of the plot and hatches a plan to skydive over the Arctic Ocean from an Air Force Lockheed C-130 directly onto Santa’s Sleigh to neutralize the threat before it reaches U.S. Soil.”

I said, “Work Angelina Jolie into the film and I budget you 140 Million.”

“No problem,” he smiled, “at all.”