Avatar Author: terice Something about something. Read Bio

Matt took a sip of bourbon as he watched the rain beat rowdily against the window of the restaurant. The inclement weather made the party surprisingly more intimate and the guests behind him more animated. He rubbed a hand over his matted curls and turned to scan the room for his sister, deciding then that he was glad he had conceded to her pleas to join. To the left, there was a part in the crowd and Matt noticed a familiar mound of chestnut waves secured expertly with a gold, leaf-shaped hairpin. She was smiling that sweet, crooked smile, fondling a tumbler with a navy cocktail napkin wrapped around. He watched her place a calculating hand on the cheek of her beguiled listener and his heart pulsed vehemently. “Of course,” he groaned to himself. “Damnit.” Matt took another sip of his drink, swished the liquid over his tongue and let it burn the inside of his cheek.

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Comments (3 so far!)

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  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Some intriguing stuff, especially if that’s his sister whom he is regarding. It could benefit a ton from breaking it into paragraphs of some sort—just helps readability. At it was a bit of a rough start with a really unfortunately placed typo (‘at’ for an ‘as’, though even then having ‘as’ twice in a row isn’t great).

  2. Avatar terice

    Appreciate your feedback! Thanks for pointing out the “at.” It shouldn’t be there at all.

  3. Avatar Robert Quick

    Interesting. Gabriella is a good name for the “man-eater” and God knows I’ve been a fool for a woman with a crooked smile before. Thank you for being interested enough to prequel my story.

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