The Safari

Avatar Author: jesteram I like to hit 1,024 exactly. Read Bio

The rhino stumbled, crashed through a bush, and plunged, bellowing, into the gorge.

“Damn, damn, dash it all!” Lord Crowley lowered his rifle, but kept squinting his right eye as he gazed at the hole in the vegetation. “Not too cunning of me to hit him so close to the edge, eh? Pity. He would’ve been a fine specimen.”

“If I may,” ventured his hunting partner, Lord Weston, who somehow had yet to bag any game at all, “aren’t six specimens, as you say, quite enough?”

Crowley turned to face his companion. He was still squinting.

“Say, chap, do I detect a note of jealousy?” He opened both eyes wide and barked a laugh. “Yes, I do seem to have been laying claim to all the prizes!”

“No, it’s not so much a matter of pride,” Weston said, “as it is a matter of, well … .” He trailed off, lamely.

“I see, I see,” Crowley said, scanning the horizon. He squinted again. “You’re a bit squeamish on the killing, eh?”

He slapped at a mosquito that had pricked his neck. When his hand came away, there was a smear of blood.

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Comments (4 so far!)

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  1. Avatar lostsalient

    Maybe it’s just because I’m delighted by British safari silliness, but I like this a lot! You’ve given a great portrait of bot characters. The Big Game Hunter dialogue could come off as overblown, but I think it fits the context perfectly.

  2. Avatar J.M.V.

    It struck me as a fun sort of caricature. I trust this was the intent? So long as you were trying to be a little humorous, I don’t think it was “overblown” at all. If it’s meant to be a bit more serious, you may want to tone it down a bit. The end seems to fit better in the latter case. It still works in the former, as a sort of juxtaposition, just not quite as well.

  3. Avatar jesteram

    Yeah, I was going for caricature but ended a little heavy. Also, you don’t know it, but the guy gets malaria from the mosquito.

  4. Avatar halfpenny

    I, myself, enjoy the caricatures, old bean. The gravity of the last paragraph throws me a bit as well, but it still works in its own way.

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