What kind of spam is it?

Avatar Author: Cobweb I'm just here. Read Bio

I asked, hoping it was the good kind.

“Run-of-the-mill.” she said, text flickering green off of her glasses as she scrolled through it. “Some comment spammer found our little hideout. Shall I kill them now?” 

I nodded and with a flick of her wrist and a few key taps Lacey dropped seven small canisters of depleted uranium on a warehouse in Bangalore. They would hear them coming, almost certainly. The canisters would emit a high pitched whistle as they de-orbited messily, raining near death upon the poor humans. They would escape, of course. The killing was only rhetorical. These guys expected rocks to be thrown at them from space.

If this had been the good kind of spam, the H+ kind, made of complex algorithmic events instead of cheap labor we would have responded more subtly. An invitation to our honeypot might have been sent, hoping to catch one of those emergent intelligences that sometimes liked to weave strange poetry in the margins of long dead blog posts.

“Maybe next time.” I said with great sadness.

View this story's details


Oh no! This story doesn't have a prequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?


Oh no! This story doesn't have a sequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?

Comments (3 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar J. Rein B.

    A very timely piece. I salute all those who have given their lives to fighting spam and the forces of evil!

  2. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    This is remarkable!

    Very timely, as said above, but it’s more than that – it’s complex, ambiguous and original – a great set-up which I truly hope you forge forward with… I certainly don’t have the sci-fi chops to hazard an attempt at it myself!

    Great work – MH :)

  3. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Ah yes. All I think I’d change is the title. It sells the actual piece a little short.

This story's tags are