Once Upon A Time In England

Avatar Author: Bob Liddil I am an author of science fiction, general fiction short stories, poetry, and non-fiction. I have been published in several genres, including fantasy and poetry, as well as non fiction. At one time I published my own c... Read Bio

I woke up mostly naked in front of the Platform 9 3/4 tourist spot at King’s Cross Station in London, England. I say “mostly” naked because for for some lucky reason, having to do with public decency no doubt, I still wore my blue “I Never Smurf and Tell” boxer shorts from yesterday.

I drew in a deep breath to clear the cobwebs. Suddenly, something smacked me on the head. I whirled in time to see an elderly woman, weilding an umbrella, who shouted at me in a northern accent, “Yeh shud be ashamed of yerself, Jimmy! The nerve!” Then she whacked me again.

As I backed away from Grandmother to avoid the blow, I bumped into a well dressed lady of quality, carrying packages. Down she fell with an unladylike screech. I lost my balance and fell squarely on top of her.

An alert copper blew his whistle. I lept to my feet and looked desperately to escape. The train next to me started to move, I scrambled aboard, finding an empty seat next to a beautiful young woman.

And that, my son, is how I met your mother.

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Comments (5 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Fun stuff. I liked how it starts with a classic bad dream scenario then flips at the end to a retelling of a factual incident that led to marriage. Nice entry in the challenge, even if the end got a bit quick.

  2. Avatar Eckhouse

    Bawdy and delicious.

  3. Avatar Sir Bic

    Classic. Very well done, indeed!
    ‘backed away… to avoid another blow…’, perhaps?
    Funny stuff.

  4. Avatar Tina Murphy

    What a great funny story to tell the grand kiddies! I LOVED the “I Never Smurf and Tell” boxer shorts"

    Typo:because for for some lucky

  5. Avatar Onion Camp

    This was funny! I love the story and I wish this was my dad!

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