I woke up this morning when this laptop fell on my head. Not just any laptop—the one I’m writing on, I mean. It hurt like a motherfucker. On the other hand, it’s hard to argue with a computer from god, isn’t it? It’s not really destiny calling so much as knocking the goddamned door down.

So I figured what the hell? I’ve been meaning to start telling the story of my life for awhile now. Now I’ve got a laptop, a word processing program, and the internet. Clearly, it’s time for me to start blogging about my Deeply Weird Life. I mean, there must be other people out there whose lives are as screwed up as mine is.

From now on, I, Eva Elizabeth Andrews, will provide weekly updates about the things that happen to me. I promise they’ll be short and sweet—not that rambling introspective shit that the internet seems to breed like mushrooms in manure. Forget navel-gazing. This blog is for the kind of weird-ass kinky perverts (like me) who want to know how fairies fuck. Enjoy.