Nonsense Will Not Be Tolerated

Avatar Author: bespectacled Read Bio

A painted sign on the door read NONSENSE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. Upon closer inspection, he could read the fine print.

By setting foot on the premises, residents or
owners of the land will not be held responsible
for loss of life, limbs, loved ones, mental health,
ownership, custody battles, fruit of any kind,
pocket change, significant amounts of blood,
clothing, innocence, direction, train of thought,
appetite, eyebrows, words, hair, kidneys,
or quality of life.

Lawyers will not be tolerated under any circumstances.

“Loss of fruit?”
“They used to have just ‘strawberries,’ but there was an incident with a pineapple, so they changed it,” she replied.

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Comments (9 so far!)

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  1. Avatar The Pig King

    Should’ve been cantæloupes.

  2. Avatar Emilou

    I love the apparent randomness of the risks. I am dying to know if he is brave enough to risk his fruit and venture past the sign… .

  3. Avatar Sir Bic

    The nonsensical and duplicitous nature of the sign with its “fine print” is quite humorous.
    Unfortunately it mimics many hypocritical rules and double-standards we see many times in this world we live in.

    Good job.

  4. Avatar Kihd

    I used to have this book full of inane warnings, like on a bottle of window cleaner “Do not let goldfish reside in solution for longer than five minutes. May result in irritation.” This story just reminded me of it. So, thanks for that.

    Very funny, made for a good laugh.

  5. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    That was funny. It creates all kinds of questions about what sort of place this is and why it’s so risky. Then the whole fruit discussion makes for an amusing diversion from those questions. Nice entry into the challenge.

  6. Avatar Ana Cristina

    I really like this — it’s got a certain kind of quirkiness to it, like an episode of Monty Python’s or something. Great last line.

  7. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    i think that about covers it.. wait.. kitchen sink!

  8. Avatar 32 Squared

    This is the best by far. I love it. It reminds me of a New Yorker cartoon. I could see this sign on the door of the infamous punk bar CBGB in New Yorks East Village.

  9. Avatar Trykdyn

    Awesome ficly, deadly serious yet laughable.