Had a detached, poetic feel to it. I’m honestly not sure what to make of it. The dialog doesn’t feel at all like real dialog, but it’s so removed as to feel like the language was intentional, to get some point across. Also, you start with there being no noise, then it’s very noisy. I kind of get it, but it’s still a confusing start.

Seems like there’s a lot of potential and meaning here, but it doesn’t quite hit home for me.

@THX yea…I like being vague and abstract, and I like what it does to the reader. It gives the reader ample space to use his/her imagination. And yes, there are not many readers who might like this style :)