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Star Trek: The Next Sweateration, Episode 2

“—it so!”

From deep within his shattered consciousness bellowed Jean-Luc Picard this glorious proclamation of solidarity. Back to his senses, Picard issues yet another glorious proclamation.

“I wanted to give you so much more,
I wanted to show you such…tenderness.
But that is not our way.”

Mops and suds spread before the rejuvenated old Captain, instinctual revenge and cerebral cunning spiral and twist and discover matrimony in Picard’s consciousness.

This Captain likes his floors clean. That captain will not see such…tenderness.”


A tear dribbles down captain Wesley’s naked, sagging eye. Drunk and bloated, our dear Wesley has lost his way to bed.

Sweater half-on, ass cheeks half-out, he falls into the john. Such tears drive on, down dear Wesley man-child’s rosy cheeks, down with such…tenderness, down boldly to dribble on his off color, peach sweater! Off color, I say!


Jean-Luc toured his old vessel.

“Let’s make sure that history never forgets the name… Enterprise.”

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