Sixty Five Roses

Avatar Author: someday_93 "The last page doesn't necessarily mean the end." *Right Now:* I’m an 18-year-old girl who just started college. Trying to figure this whole life thing out. So, if you don't see me for periods of time... I'm doing coll... Read Bio

She thought that maybe, if she held her breath long enough, she’d simply lift off the ground and float away, a tiny dot like the bright red of a balloon lost at a summer picnic against the perfect pale blue of the sky. That she’d be able to fly.

She wanted to fly more than anything. Arms reaching toward the heavens, she would jump on the trampoline, flinging her body higher each time. “Look at me, Mommy!”

Sitting on the swing, letting the warm air caress me, I smiled.

I watched her when she couldn’t breathe. How her eyes got big, hands tugging for mine. And it broke my heart every time, when air returned to her, she told me, “I almost flew that time!”

She was my sixty-five roses girl. Because somehow, hiding behind pretty words, it didn’t sound so terrible.

When she finally flew, it was without me. To somewhere I couldn’t follow. Fingers threaded through mine, she finally held her breath long enough, while my tears spotted her shirt.

And around her trampoline, I planted sixty five beautiful red roses.

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Comments (12 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar The Third Robot

    That first paragraph is something else Someday. You make me green with robot envy.

    Actually scratch that; That whole story makes me green with robot envy.

    Envious of your mad writing skills that is.

  2. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Oh, that was sad. I like the bitter honesty in the idea of how the pain is a little easier when hidden behind pretty words. For a bit I thought the kid had killed herself with holding her breath, then I got it, and actually liked the use of breath and air as a thread through the whole thing.

  3. Avatar Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))

    Welcome back to the Ficlyverse my doll.

    This resonates with a palpable sadness that is so heartbreaking.
    The description is gorgeous too.

  4. Avatar someday_93

    Sixty-five roses is something that people call cystic fibrosis, because it’s kind of a mouthful. and 65 roses sounds prettier…

  5. Avatar H.S. Wift

    This is beautiful, someday. A glorious return to ficly. You deserve every one of these 5 pencils. It does seem like a lot of people are returning to ficly lately, but you are by far the most awesome.

    Cystic fibrosis is such a horrible disease, and it’s genetic. And it’s very likely that someone who reads this story will have it written into their DNA, but not show any symptons, because it’s just horrible like that. This story was extremely moving. Thank you.

  6. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    Wow, you have such a talent and bring so much power into your sentences; they smack you in the face, demanding you pay attention! Absolutely beautiful. Such a pretty way to dress up a horrible moment.

  7. Avatar dkscully

    Sad and dark. Beautifully written nonetheless.

  8. Avatar ethelthefrog

    Powerfully moving writing, beautifully crafted.

  9. Avatar Sir Bic

    Tragic. Your writing is excellent. Pain resonates with the reading. The first two paragraphs starting with ‘she’ is brilliant. Three lines later, and the sorrow the word ‘she’ entails starts all over again. Nicely done.

  10. Avatar zxvasdf

    One of the best stories I’ve read here on ficly

  11. Avatar Tad Winslow |LoA|

    So sad… and exquisitely so. I agree with all of the praise. This is heart wrenching and real.

  12. Avatar Mystique

    Agree with all the comments here. The style of writing is awesome! So much sadness, pain all woven together with such pretty words. Loved it. The part “hiding behind pretty words, it didn’t sound so terrible” added so much more to the emotions. Made me cry! (Ya well almost)

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