About a year later, I was following my Grandmother through Bartell Drugs maze of potions and pills.

“My doctor sent me for a laxative!” my Grandmother shouted to the Pharmacists a few aisles over; “What’s on sale?” As she set off on her quest, she left me with words of wisdom:“Keep your hands to yourself, don’t touch a damn thing! If you break it you’re paying for it. I haven’t got any money!” Freed, I made a beeline for the toys and candy

After breaking a toy, I was on the lam. I found a half naked woman hiding in the magazine section; She was wearing my jock. MY jock! I jumped high searching for my Grandmothers bobbing blue hair; A police siren.

I rubbed myself against the romance shelf as I flipped through the pages; I didn’t know MY jock could be used like this! I have to show my friends!

In my frustrating attempts to force the magazine into my shorts, I missed the stalking Blue Rhino. Snatching me up in one hand, the pornography held high in the other, she demanded a cure for my poisoned mind.