The Worst Job in the World

Avatar Author: H.S. Wift I have finaly returned, to ficly and to the bullpen. Ha! It's taken me ages to realise how stupid and pretentiosu these quotes are, say goodbye all. Read Bio

Duck suits are yellow. This is the norm. We didn’t like it. As I watched the more realistic white and brown duck-man with a green duck head zig-zag in and out of sight, I counted to ten. Then I decided ten was a boring number and counted to fifty two. Counting the first ten of course, I’m not an idiot. I hit the number of awesomeness and gave chase.

After at least a minute of shenannigan-filled pursuit, I heard the unmistakable sound of a man with a plastic beak slamming into an invisible wall. I sped off in that direction, while rapidly renaming my gun from .50 Desert Eagle to .52 Icecap Ostrich. I arrived at the plywood corridor he had inadvertently stopped in, and raised Icecap Ostrich. He turned to face me, looking the perfect mix of ridiculous and awesome. I emptied the chamber into his head. A hole formed as flesh, bone, blood and brain matter spattered over the invisible wall.

I helped him back to his feet as sinewy fibres lashed over his forehead.

“Must we go again?”

“Just eight more bullets.”

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Comments (3 so far!)

  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    I didn’t follow that at all. I know you were going for absurdest, and maybe the challenge explains this. I don’t know. Whatever you were aiming for, you missed the point at which I would be able to make sense of it. I get the vague idea, and there’s some good humor to it though.

  2. Avatar tjwell01

    No idea what’s going on in this piece, but I’m amused with the image of duck-men in suits.

  3. Avatar H.S. Wift

    Perfect. Those reactions are exactly the reactions I wanted to extract from my audience. Things are going swimmingly.

Inspired by

“This is only a test.” “Um, that being the case, do you suppose it’s wise to be using real bullets?” “Shu...

Test by THX 0477