On the ethereal plane of the afterlife, the armies of Heaven and the legions of Hell were preparing for battle. Harold Camping was right. The rapture would be soon, May 21st, and the few remaining days of Earth would be hellish for those left behind.

A wild wrestler appears!

There, on the fluffy white clouds near the gates of Heaven, stood the newly deceased Macho Man Randy Savage. The Macho Man put on his huge sunglasses and sauntered over to the field of battle. If there was going to be a Royal Rumble up here, he wanted to win it.

“Listen up, chumps,” Savage yelled, “I’m going to put a hurtin’ on all of you! Oh, YEAH!”

The armies were confused. None had predicted this. A third faction? They joined together to fight this pretender.

Angels were given the piledriver, demons smashed with chairs. Satan and God fell to flying elbow drops.

The rapture? Postponed. The Apocalypse? Canceled.

Macho Man Randy Savage was crowned Heavyweight Champion of the Afterlife. On Earth, it began to rain Slim Jims.