The Legend of the Nameless Man: The Summer of '80

Avatar Author: August 2nd eReaders: Monthly digests up to *December 2012* are available at https://www.box.com/shared/yg7eom74zq. Read Bio

The summer of ’80 was when he first showed in town. July, I recall, during an unnatural hot spell, like the mines had busted through to the fires of Hell itself. The way I hear it, he come in from the northwest, from Benson or further.

His horse was near to dead, lathered up something terrible: you’d a thought that it hadn’t had water in days. A man who don’t care after his horse is a man who don’t care much about anything.

So he takes that horse first to the West End Corral over on Second and tried to sell it to Daniel. That didn’t work so he goes to Dunbar’s on Fremont. Well, Ed’s not an idiot. So he takes it over to the Arizona Corral on Third, but Will doesn’t buy it either.

So what does he do then? He takes the pack and saddle from the horse. Will tried to get him to leave the Arizona, but he pulls out his six-shooter and shoots the animal point-blank through the forehead. Horse goes down dead. And then he had the gall to offer to sell the saddle. Will gave him half its value and kicked him out.

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  1. Avatar memento

    Good sense of character voice. I usually get so entangled in deciphering written dialects that I pay no attention to the narrative, but you’ve handled it such that it blends with the experience rather than detracting from it.
    My only complaint is that the third sentence is somewhat redundant. You spent time enough on the location of his origin in your first entry. I don’t feel it needs to be stated again, unless you are specifically intending for the speaker to sound absentmindedly repetitious.
    Other than that, good show.

  2. Avatar August 2nd

    @memento: In the Ficly world, I find that there’s often a fine balance between using language economically and providing enough information to allow a single story to stand on its own. I understand your comment but I’m going to allow the text to stand. The narrator is recalling events from memory. If it helps to think of him as an old man, then perhaps he could be forgiven for repeating himself.

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