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Something I'll Never Have

From the second he smiled I was captivated. His wavy black hair fluttered in the wind and his brown eyes shone in the sun. Tan, fit and very attractive, everything I wanted but I knew I could never have. He was straight and I was gay. The thought of coming out terrified me. Being seventeen was tough, being seventeen and gay was even tougher.

“Nice goal.” He said playfully pushing me.
“Thanks.” I said as I quickly admired his shirtless body.
“Hey, wanna hang out later?” He said walking to my car.
“Sure, my place? I have a few beers in the fridge.”
“Awesome, I’m down.”
****
It was a typical night of porn, beer and sex-talk. Nothing out of the norm until we got into deeper conversation.

“You know Vin, you’re a good friend.” I said.
“You are too bro. We’re tight.” he replied.

Without thinking I pulled him in and kissed him.

“Bro, what are you doing?” he said as he repelled.
“I’m sorry.” I said in shock.
“Nick, I don’t like you like that. Sorry bro.” He said as he left.

He was something I could never have.

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